Better yet, a gun, provided it's legal where the ex lives.

#36, guns are not as good at deterring people as dogs are, and who says his ex knows how to handle a gun? Most people with guns at home end up hurt or killed by those same guns. Not so with dogs.

k are you gonna feed the dog then #27

well i guess restraining order wasn't filed against him accidentally

If it was something like an item he wanted back, he should've had someone else get it for him. What he did was wrong and very unsettling.

I know people are going to hate on you regardless, but having arrested many people for restraining orders, the protected party often contacts the person with the RO. I've seen countless people use it as emotional control. It's a mandatory arrest (here), so it doesn't matter who initiated the contact. A RO is a civil order, given by the judge, based on one persons' statement. There are always three sides to every story: yours, theirs and the truth. I'm not saying there are not righteous RO, or a reason they exist. I've just seen them used in petty ways too.

It IS used that way, but the brother had his brother drop him at the exs house. I doubt she talked him into it with op there and he even said it was HIS house. It sounds more like it's fully needed with his behavior.

The original restraining order that lasts until the first court date is based on one person's word and any proof they have. The actual restraining order involved a court hearing and is not so simply based on just one person's word. I had to prove we were in danger, which I was able to do with copies of communications, solid documenting, letters from the social workers involved, and ER reports. It is not simply he said, she said, at that point. It does not matter why OP's brother broke the restraining order. It CERTAINLY does not when he did it again, that is terrifying. Many battered partners reach out to their abuser afterwards, it's a complicated situation made worse by the battered partner having been trained to disregard their own safety in favor of their abuser's feelings. That's why it's still breaking the order if she contacted him. Because she is not yet free of the total mind screwage that came with the battering and is not quite ready to be able to keep herself safe from him. OP, please, please do not help your brother terrorize his ex any more. I loved my ex's family, but this is exactly why I cut them all out of our lives afterwards.