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By Anonymous - / Monday 9 May 2016 03:02 / Canada - Fort Smith
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It sounds like she's insecure about herself, and wants you to be proud of her. Would it help if you explain to her that you love her no matter what, and that, even though you support any efforts she's making to be healthier, you really don't care how she looks? Not seeing your child for 4 years is kind of a big deal, I can understand she wants to be at her best for you.

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Unless OP is a horrible daughter and her mom is glad to be rid if her. Or OP could be one of those people extremely critical of other people's weight. The mere fact the OP is willing to pay does not mean that her mother should be excited to see her.

It sounds like she's insecure about herself, and wants you to be proud of her. Would it help if you explain to her that you love her no matter what, and that, even though you support any efforts she's making to be healthier, you really don't care how she looks? Not seeing your child for 4 years is kind of a big deal, I can understand she wants to be at her best for you.

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OP, you could also suggest you guys do it together, so she knows you support her? You should also consider explaining that you want to see her because you love her, and it's not dependant on her weight. I'd laugh at my mom if she tried to say that. I just love her too much. (:

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Thanks for the nice alternative point of view. She knows I don't care what she looks like. I am glad she is eating properly which has caused the weight loss. She said she didn't want me interrupting her new routine.

It sounds like she just wants to look good when you see her. Just remind her that you lover her no matter what and hopefully she'll get more excited about you coming to visit.

While it is a very nice thing that you want to spend time with your mom, I kind of feel like you deserved that one. You don't make plans to come to someone's house without asking them first, even if it is family. My husband and I all live (at a minimum) of 1200 miles away from the family we're close to (mom, dad, siblings, grandparents) and I can't imagine just saying, "Surprise! I'm coming to visit!" or being okay with them doing that to us. Perhaps they're remodeling or maybe they already have company scheduled for that time or maybe they are going on a vacation themselves or any number of things. I get the long periods of time can be hard. I saw my mom and my younger brothers for the first time in 5 years last summer when they came here for a week, but it took some shuffling for us to be able to have that time off and make sure we were actually able to spend it with them. If they had surprised us with their visit, they would have been spending a lot of time at our house without us because we wouldn't have had time to make sure we would be home and would have been sleeping on the floor because we didn't have any kind of guest accommodations in our tiny little house.

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OP's not visiting her mom until June. That's still a few weeks away, and a pretty decent notice. It's not like OP just showed up on her mom's doorstep without warning.

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16: Some people do happen to make plans in advanced though even if someone else does give them notice. I have plans for August, so even if someone told me they coming, I clearly would not be able to entertain them as I wouldn't be around even though it's a few months away.

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Yeah, but that's enough time to tell someone that that time is too busy for you. Sorry if I was unclear, but it sounded like the comment above assumed OP showed up at her mom's door. I was trying to point out that OP gave her mom notice (and enough notice to cancel any plans OP had made). It's rude to make plans without checking the other person's availability first, and OP did that. If her mom was unavailable or busy, she could've just said that—instead of saying she needed to lose weight.

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I would by that, except, the occasional Dr.'s appointment or trip to the grocery store is the only time she leaves the house, she is always at home. She has been constantly reminding me I haven't been there for a long time. So, no, I don't 'deserve' this one.

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