Miscellaneous: Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 682

You deserved it 4 701

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Have you heard the news?

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 116

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 138

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 836

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 668

You deserved it 7 657

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 294

You deserved it 6 496

Worst workplace ever

By maya - 29/03/2021 20:01

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 93

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 145

You deserved it 49 420

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 151

Join in the fun

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 11:02

Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 632

By ILoveLamps - 25/03/2015 06:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 237

You deserved it 2 869

Next

Top comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:09

Bon apitite!

swimmerstud 7

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:58

I wanna know what conversations you have at the dinner table if you think that is yummy.

Comments

polkadotsocks 11

Monday 27 June 2011 7:32

I work in health care, and our lunch time conversation ranges anything from periods/child birth, poop, open and leaking wounds and STDs and anything else that you can imagine.

YoNdO15 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 2:59

my family did that too!

iAmKyah 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 6:48

If it's green it's healthy lol

ImafukNskittleYO 4

Wednesday 9 November 2011 6:32

Well that stinks. :/

corydakota 4

Sunday 15 April 2012 2:38

Lmao this sounds like me & my best friends

PinkGirl246 8

Friday 31 August 2012 22:14

Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo Violet!!! ;DD

pacmanman 15

Tuesday 29 January 2013 5:01

Normal type of dinner conversation for my family.. No big deal.

Klima_fml 29

Thursday 4 September 2014 6:37

You should hear the stuff my family talks about during dinner, it's nasty. FYL

DaJaFu 13

Monday 12 October 2015 23:23

Uhm... are we related???

Levicicus 6

Sunday 27 January 2019 9:40

Some of these leave me saying “yes, and?” FML

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Kids Parenting Love Embarrassing Awkward Family Wanker Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Transportation Cops Cars Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 090

You deserved it 20 809

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 352

You deserved it 61 658

Today, I learned the hard way that age is not just a number when I completely threw out my back while sitting on the ground, gently tossing a ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 104

Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 536

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 671

You deserved it 3 457

Today, after $87, waiting five months and making sure everything was perfect, I was ready to go see my favorite comedian live. I got the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 1 276

Today, my nephew stabbed me in the knee with a colouring pencil. The hospital says he ripped a hole in a tendon and I need surgery to fix it or one day it'll snap. I’ll have a limp for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 973

You deserved it 278