I was just going to say "shitty", but I'll take the high road. What an awful shituation you're in OP.

Such vivid imagery...tell me more...

Omg

That's shitty man XD

*shudders* I can't unread this...

oh man that's awful. drink lots of water, exercise, eat plenty of fibers, and fruits are your friends. grapes work well. keep moving and it'll help. take a stool softener if you need to, or get an enema if you must. suppositories (sp?) talk to your doctor about this. it's really not safe to be digging shit out of your ass repeatedly. you really don't want to weaken the muscles, and your intestines really aren't that thick. if you puncture the wall you could go into toxic shock... literally poisoning yourself with your own shit.... man I was eating a piece of chocolate

Because of a surgery I have issues with the way my body tears down food. I can't digest fats, oils or greens so sometimes I have dire stomach problems. What's keeping me on track is eating one egg a day. Works every time

There are so many simple, safe ways to prevent medication related constipation that I won't even bother except to say that google is your friend - unless you are an idiot. YDI

sad sad day!!

You could try prune juice. It doesn't taste the best but it always works for me. :)