Intimacy: Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles....

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 607

You deserved it 17 143

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 584

You deserved it 1 182

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 5 532

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 114

You deserved it 23 453

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 396

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 575

You deserved it 6 208

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 696

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 403

You deserved it 9 205

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 104

You deserved it 22 190

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 985

You deserved it 1 757

Mr25_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:54

come prepared

LeoF_fml 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:55

Haha, too big of a load to handle?

Comments

Mananda 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 6:59

Your girlfriend sounds awesome.

nimzie 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:18

You can poke her eye out. Safety first.

mserrato 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:22

Atleast you got a *******

stewie13_666 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:56

She doesn't want another angry pirate

Ever_16 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:02

How is this an FML? All the poster is doing is bitching, at least you got your dick sucked, princess. Gee your life is now ruined ain't it?!

captainboner 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:04

******* smart :P

DOPEYxISxTOxDOPE 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:13

That's deep

purple91 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:16

Sounds sexy...

meow7777 2

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:24

you must be a squirter

StarKnight 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:34

lmao

Keywords

Facebook Work Social Media Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 437

...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I went to the bathroom. I locked the stall door, but got walked in on anyway. This is the eighth time this has happened this week, and multiple people think I’m just too stupid to lock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 196

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 622

You deserved it 3 344

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 6 264

Today, in the toilet at work, I found that the scissors on my multitool are quite good at getting rid of a shit-stained shirttail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 618

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 166

You deserved it 4 583

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 385

You deserved it 3 873