Work: Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's...

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 434

You deserved it 1 915

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 129

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 2 179

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 433

You deserved it 3 220

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 173

You deserved it 7 764

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 479

You deserved it 5 900

By Shane - 08/02/2011 07:58

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 129

You deserved it 32 190

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 154

Treat yourself!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 4 014

Dude, WTF?

By truckstopworker - 27/04/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 929

You deserved it 339

mandyk5918 12

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

That's sooo gross!!!!

TayrawrTMD 7

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

Sounds like a shit job

Comments

mayyberry 4

Monday 22 October 2012 12:52

Oh wow I'm surprised he didn't find that embarrassing and actually told you to carry on

BellaBelle_fml 23

Tuesday 23 October 2012 11:57

He probably was embarrassed but pretended not to be and carried on like nothing was out of the ordinary. It doesn't make much sense t me to do that, but it is a form of coping mechanism to some. But in this shituation I'm leaning more to the side of him simply being disgusting and disrespectful to the masseuse an everyone else around him.

BlowinChronic 18

Monday 22 October 2012 12:54

That sounds like a really bad practical joke that someone might play just to see what you would do about it...

Epikouros 31

Monday 22 October 2012 21:07

Yep, just lick it up, it'll probably be chocolate.

neroid 4

Monday 22 October 2012 12:56

People can be disgusting

DocBastard 38

Monday 22 October 2012 12:57

Ah, you've reminded me that "shitstain" is one of my favourite insults. I'll definitely have to remember to use it this week. Thanks!

delilah09 6

Monday 22 October 2012 15:38

Hey Doc! Love your blog!!!

ManInTheMachine 19

Monday 22 October 2012 15:44

^You know there's a PM system, right? I'm sure he appreciates the feedback, but don't do it under an FML

jamza 10

Monday 22 October 2012 13:01

Does he take a shit upside down or does he think his ass crack extends half way up his back when he wipes.

greeneyebeauty9 28

Monday 22 October 2012 13:07

there has to be some policy to help you get out if this? because that's just disgusting.

soad2014 7

Monday 22 October 2012 13:25

What the...? Ewww. How can anyone live like that?

minagiv 11

Monday 22 October 2012 14:17

I would have refused to do it! That's so unsanitary. I'm not sure what your rights are up there, but down here in MA, we can stop a massage for any reason and refuse a client.