By anonymous - 05/09/2012 04:44 - Australia

Spicy
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 185
You deserved it 10 256
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Top comments

cawoods 1

It's like a phone threesome!

251 5
Bekll 31

I love when strangers leave lengthy voicemails by accident. Never had one of sex in the background but one did involve a wife yelling at her husband. And OP, 2 years is nothing. I've been without for five years now.

104 3

Comments

Elegance 7

That's an invitation. They called because they want you. Take that logic and you will not only never be lonely again, you'll also be a huge douche! Good luck with future endeavors of douchery, op.

3 36
NickKuiper 8

Cheer up! I'm still a virgin, so I haven't had it in, like 16 years!

73 4
Welshite 39

#19: You have a one year old child at age 14. I respect NickKuiper for waiting, and not rushing to have sex.

59 2
Trisha_aus 15

Wow someone is mature...at 14 I didn't really understand the "love" concept. Sounds like a real life Romeo n Juliet here..

29 3
Welshite 39

#26: Sarcasm is not an umbrella term. Your original comment didn't have a trace of a sarcastic remark in it. I've seen similar rebuttals several times now in the comments by different people and it just makes me shake my head in frustration.

18 4
Gregory607 1

26- did you really just confuse the words opinions and options?

26 0
expertsmilee 26

Guys, 26 is a black man and his son actually knows who he is...y'all should be applauding him.

0 0
happylawyer 16

You are 16! You are supposed to be studying, not having sex. There is time for sex, and it is not now. Staying a virgin while still in school will help avoid lot of trouble in life. Be proud of it.

27 1
olpally 32

26- your grammar is really terrible... So, you're from North Carolina? First in flight, and it looks like 48th in education seems about right by looking at your profile. Yikes.

11 0
gc327072 30

"My momma always said, stupid is as stupid does." ~Forrest Gump

9 0
BatemanFML 0

I wonder when this couple will realize that at the mere age of 31 their child will be graduating from high school.

8 0
FirebirdF350 7

I wonder when yall will notice she said she loves her fiancé, her child, and her girlfriend. You are so very intelligent and mature in your 'options' there number 14, perhaps regale us with your vast experiences with love? Oh wait, your 14, and of course as confused and immature as all teenagers are, if not more so. Engaged, a child, and a girlfriend on the side, how on this earth did your parents let this slide?

5 11
FirebirdF350 7

And weapons and martial arts expert #14? And you don't care what peploe think? I congratulate you on not caring what a nonexistant thing thinks and having a mastery over a video game weapon set... Good job. Faith in gene pool;-5.5x10 to the 96th power.

2 3
skyeyez9 24

Imo being engaged at age 14 would be a nightmare!

4 0
esines 9

Your fiancé looks like her family tree never grew past the stump stage #19.. And seriously knocked a girl up at thirteen? What a ******* winner

0 0
andiewithlove 21

69 (giggles childishly) - If you'll notice, "she" is a he.

4 5
youjustmademelol 4

At 14 I played with a gameboy, you don't need lovin whn you can 'cath em all'

1 0
FirebirdF350 7

79, I said she because if you notice, the guy spelt fiancée which is the woman, as fiancé, which is the man, and rather than,refer to his 'fiancé' as that, he refers to her as a girlfriend. It's meant to be comedic

1 2
supportcommand 17

67- I don't think they are going to have to worry about graduating anything with parents like that. 14, with child, and can't even spell the name of the city they live in. Might graduate to a Tuesday evening stripper from a Tuesday afternoon stripper if lucky.

2 0
dirton89 7

If you listened to it that much....9 out of 10 chance you fapped to it. Don't be ashamed...none of us will tell ;)

24 1
anencephalic 14

This feels like it could probably make for a scenario in some weird hentai film. In fact, this may be your chance to earn some money. Add tentacles for effect.

4 2
HelligKeit 5

Take it as a deliberate call-to-action that you need to get back into the world and find someone special.

1 2
xalba 9

What are you going to do when your phone deletes all your saved messages after a certain period of time? :o. Noooooooooo!

6 2