Work: Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer...

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 322

You deserved it 2 574

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/09/2016 16:23 - United States - Albany

Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 053

You deserved it 910

By shatfjord - 10/10/2014 22:34 - United States - Rochester

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 635

You deserved it 2 979

Mr. Robot

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 14:02

Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 233

By Jack - 30/11/2010 08:48

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 871

You deserved it 3 692

By themanontheright - 01/03/2010 20:50 - United States

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 786

You deserved it 38 938

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 22:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 151

You deserved it 3 931

Five knuckle shuffle

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 06:00

Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 865

By He Hates Me... - 21/10/2015 00:15 - United States - Ogden

Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 460

You deserved it 4 259

Check this out

By Robert - 01/07/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 649

You deserved it 7 410

Team spirit

By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 7 507

StarWolf111 21

Wednesday 7 December 2011 22:17

Report him?

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 7 December 2011 22:24

**** stars. Able to give you viruses both on and off screen.

Comments

ten_go86 5

Thursday 8 December 2011 7:54

wanker :-D

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:19

(I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.) If the security of your company's network and servers is your responsibility, implement a web-filtering proxy to screen that type of content. "We're protecting the company network from viruses and malware, a lot of which we've found have come from **** sites." That frames it as a technical issue and avoids blaming your boss. You can further bolster the business case for this by pointing out that a network or server compromise would expose data that's supposed to be kept confidential. Things like employee info, customer data, internal memos, sales projections, upcoming inventions or new products, etc., etc. There are also legal reasons for filtering things like ****, "hate" sites, "shock sites", and the like. Someone who inadvertently walks in on a coworker surfing that stuff and gets an eyeful could legitimately lodge a "hostile workplace" complaint, exposing the company to legal liability. If your company is subject to laws like HIPAA or Gramm-Leach-Bliley, both of which create criminal and statutory civil penalties for failure to safeguard nonpublic personal information, you and your company could be in deep legal trouble if there were to be a breach. The criminal penalties for HIPAA and GLB violations include the possibility of jail time. Chances are you'll get buy-in from your boss on this, because he can't say "no" without looking bad. Your grandboss will likely buy in if your boss won't. Do it. If you're responsible for network and server security, and *can't* do it, start circulating resumes, because you're in a no-win situation. Recession or no, competent network admins are in demand.

ZebulonPike 8

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:25

That's not necessarily a good idea either. A friend of mine got a virus just by hovering over a link (and it wasn't even a **** site!)

Ariana2_fml 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:46

Hahaha that happened to my boss too...when everyone found out what was going on he quit

JustAGuy18 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 9:11

Blackmail for a raise.

imcharp 5

Thursday 8 December 2011 9:16

That freaking figures.

hyden121 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 9:59

Ummm. Bow Chica Uh Oh!

xMidna 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 10:33

Pretty sure that's not how it works. You need to download the information in order to download the virus. Looking at the link is like looking at a picture, clicking the link is like taking said picture.