Work: Timing

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 3 876

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Same thing different taste

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 3 487

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 634

You deserved it 9 112

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 2 601

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 419

You deserved it 4 013

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 8 877

By needanewphone - 22/01/2012 22:03 - United States

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 924

You deserved it 32 327

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 44 710

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 422

You deserved it 13 704

I'm up here

By Pooped - 21/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, apparently my parents called 911 because I wasn't answering their phone calls, so they thought something was wrong. I was in the bathroom and didn't bring my phone, so I wouldn't distract myself and ended up sitting there forever. Looks like that wasn't the right choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 125

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 215

You deserved it 3 200

Victoria16_fml 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:54

I guess your shit outta luck

music_woman1 11

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:53

The worst time for that to happen

Comments

verkaderk 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:30

Cordless FTW!!!

BlueHue 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:38

I used to wait by the phone, then I got a cordless phone. Now my phone waits by me. :)

crzybtchxx 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:48

Lol should have taken the phone with you and stopped mid what ever to talk lololol

Indipringurl 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:59

Thatz why you take the phone wit u duuh

badam_fml 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:20

Cell's can be taken everywhere

dethbunny 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:57

Sittin' on the toilet!

oakland43 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:05

pinch it off

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:42

There she's blows!

screamo_neve 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:46

That's usually what happens. Actually happened to me yesterday... :o

CrankDatAsss 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:26

Do you not have a cordless phone that you can walk around with... or your cell maybe?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird My ex Shopping Awkward Racism Family Relatable Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Mental health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Parents Stressed out

The Top

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 339

You deserved it 7 901

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 556

You deserved it 4 759

The Top

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 100

You deserved it 6 907

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 263

You deserved it 8 633

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 260

You deserved it 4 962

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 134

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I'd set aside a weekend to play Dungeons & Dragons. One of our players suddenly had trouble with his wife and brought his toddler over. The kid would not stop crying, getting into places he shouldn't be, and loudly shitting his diaper every 15 minutes. I had to eject the player from the game. This is why I don't want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 186

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 211

You deserved it 42 099