Transportation, Cars and Accident: The planets made me do it - FML

The planets made me do it

By c…… - 12/10/2021 08:00

Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 71

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Same thing different taste

By 464424 - 05/05/2012 06:24 - United States - Dayton

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 477

You deserved it 8 228

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 10:57 - Ukraine - Donetsk

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 649

You deserved it 1 940

By comeonnow - 25/09/2016 18:53 - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 453

You deserved it 754

By jameen - 07/05/2016 11:48 - United Kingdom - Newbury

Today, a woman rear-ended my car. She's trying to sue me for 'emotional damage'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 737

You deserved it 1 030

By Kitten - 06/09/2018 03:30

Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 382

You deserved it 155

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 14 425

By Micmicmic - 15/04/2017 04:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 750

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 2 649

By Idontknowwhattodo - 27/08/2013 10:17 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 010

You deserved it 3 492

Get out of my way

By toyotasmash - 07/10/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 854

You deserved it 3 549

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 October 2021 8:10

Then all you have to do is sue Mercury. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. If he can make big insurance companies pay, he can surely get money out of a planet. Who told that planet to start going backwards? It's an open-and-shut case.

gagus123 24

Monday 26 December 2022 3:29

Sounds like something my girlfriend could’ve done. Luckily she doesn’t have a drivers license.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 October 2021 8:10

Then all you have to do is sue Mercury. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. If he can make big insurance companies pay, he can surely get money out of a planet. Who told that planet to start going backwards? It's an open-and-shut case.

gagus123 24

Monday 26 December 2022 3:29

Sounds like something my girlfriend could’ve done. Luckily she doesn’t have a drivers license.

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 184

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 937

You deserved it 4 326

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 845

You deserved it 4 303

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 413

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 556

You deserved it 2 646

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 72

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 539

You deserved it 4 152