Weddings, Alcohol, Drunk and Awkward: The best day of your life - FML

The best day of your life

By How's the salmon? - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my drunken mother shouted at me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 550

You deserved it 3 147

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Top comments

gaydragon 13

Sunday 10 May 2015 16:26

so how was the salmon?

RickySleeves 20

Sunday 10 May 2015 16:28

She's really representing women well eh?

Comments

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 11 May 2015 11:11

I hate the fact that so many people mix misandry and feminism. I consider myself a feminist and I don’t hate men. In fact, I married one. I have no problem admitting that he can do some stuff (like lifting heavy things) that I can’t, the same way I can do stuff that he can’t. I just believe that men and women are and should be treated as equals socially and professionally. OP’s mom just sound like some old bitter drunk.

cccccccchrissss 4

Monday 11 May 2015 14:58

Why all of us? Not all males are horrible

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 151

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, I found out why my art teacher was so reluctant to return my artwork that he'd borrowed to display. He dropped a white splotch of paint in the centre of my black scratch art, which is irreversible, and tried to cover it up without telling me. I spent 2 months on that thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 427

You deserved it 174

Today, I found out that I need to get a root canal, the only day I can get an appointment is on the same day I'm flying out for training for my new job. I can't get out of either, so now need to face my fear of flying and fear of dentists the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 826

You deserved it 1 389

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 423

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 387

You deserved it 25 959

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 5 171

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 334

You deserved it 35 587