Kids: Technique

Technique

By icandothecancan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Duncan

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 001

You deserved it 6 240

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Same thing different taste

By kansasgirl - 02/03/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 759

You deserved it 4 379

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 31/08/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 528

By EOJ - 10/02/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 922

You deserved it 55 264

By OhDear - 25/05/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 427

You deserved it 4 848

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 09/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 7 365

By geli - 09/08/2016 00:12

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 1 433

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:22 - Canada - Langley

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 413

You deserved it 15 157

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 648

You deserved it 10 370

cjmedic 12

Sunday 22 June 2014 13:43

Calm your ****.

NopeFuckThat 7

Sunday 22 June 2014 13:40

At least your son is okay (?) :)

Comments

Eggs6131 14

Monday 23 June 2014 0:10

1½ year old. Not 18 months. If you don't stop now, it'll go on forever, and it'll get confusing. Imagine, in 14½ years "look at our little boy! All grown up! Sweet 192 months, huh?"

Godsofdracos 15

Monday 23 June 2014 0:20

To the dipshits saying to post only in years, never reproduce unless you have enough financial stability to afford someone to take care of the child who knows the different stages of a infants growth. They grow very rapidly and different things happen at each stage which is why it will ALWAYS be measured in months to at least 3 - 4 years old. If you can't do the simple math of 18 months or 14 months; stop bitching and go back to second grade.

puffthekraken 7

Monday 23 June 2014 0:58

I -HATE- when people say 18 months, after 12 months why don't people just start saying one year, two year, etc.

Witchylady 17

Monday 23 June 2014 0:58

Weren't you wearing a bra? Hope your son was ok

pitapizzaparty 18

Monday 23 June 2014 1:24

Why dont people just say 1 years old ? Or 1and a half . I mean it would be ridiculous for me to say im 300 months old ? So why dont they go by years after the first

SarahBearah1995 11

Monday 23 June 2014 1:44

Before the age of 2 or 3, development happens so rapidly that the distinction of age must be made in months. For example, a 13 month old may not be able to walk, but a 23 month old should be able to almost dress him/herself. Both would be considered 1 year old, yet they are vastly different in development.