Animals: Tasty snack

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 7 490

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 698

You deserved it 2 513

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 4 702

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 19 088

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Tracy

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 3 210

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 537

You deserved it 3 837

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 3 355

ddldave 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 1:35

Wow, I wouln't even know what I would do if that happened to me. I would be scared shitless and freak out until I faint.

snowsurfskate303 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 4:34

why the **** are u on this site then?

Comments

hillbilliebarbie 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:16

a spider would not taste like steak or anything yummy. yall really overthink simple things that are just gross.

wbrycem 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:23

Lol

BreeWillis 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:25

ughhhhh. I am absolutely terrified of spiders. That's gross. FYL indeed.

fyourlife33 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:33

And then you felt a mist until you realized it was painters pissing on your roof?

glykoula09 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 9:01

#51 wins...i remember that fml !!

beast92 2

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:34

ahhh! i hate spiders with a passion im sorry

YoungTechnique 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 7:11

Damn, I bet that didn't taste very good did it ?

seb12992 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 7:29

FYL, that's nasty.

Austine19 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 7:54

u gave spidyman a bj lol

TheAmazing_fml 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 8:05

AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT U R NO MORE THAN 8 FEET FROM A SPIDER. TRUE FACT.

chasingstarlight 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 8:14

I googled it (I'm that cool) and it's actually 6 feet. Bah.

chasingstarlight 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 8:10

I WOULD HAVE CRIED.

Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Embarrassing Ironic Animals Phobias Health Bikes Transportation Ecology Drunk AITA Work Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek Vacation Mysterious Weird Video games Gamers Gross Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids

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Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 62

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 797

You deserved it 16 310

The Top

Today, some guy at the bus stop screamed at me because the bus was coming and I wasn’t wearing my mask. I was standing 25 feet from the stop finishing a smoke and there was no one around me. When I sat down on the bus, with my mask on, he stared me down the whole ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 174

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 647

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform her, I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 3 142

Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 689

You deserved it 3 560

Greedy Catto!

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 69

Today, I watched my mother's heart break. She found out, my siblings (20F and 18M), who've ignored her for years, have been adopted by our stepmother. She received said news the same way we found out my younger brother enlisted, and from the only place we get pics of him and my sister: her abusive ex-husband's Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 118

Tasty snack

Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

Happy meal

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