Animals: Tasty snack

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 7 490

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 698

You deserved it 2 513

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 4 702

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 19 088

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Tracy

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 3 210

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 537

You deserved it 3 837

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 3 355

ddldave 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 1:35

Wow, I wouln't even know what I would do if that happened to me. I would be scared shitless and freak out until I faint.

snowsurfskate303 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 4:34

why the **** are u on this site then?

Comments

lolzforfun228 3

Thursday 25 June 2009 2:37

this is nasty? i agree with 24 you eat mutilated cows and this is gross? and how is your life ****** because you accidentally crushed a spider inbetween you lips? It's been a long time since there has been an actual FML on here.

Tsukasa_fml 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 2:44

We don't typically eat the *entire* cow. Spiders are also more gross than cows to a lot of people (who don't know cows very well). Anyway the real ewww is having squished it between her lips. I shudder just thinking about it.

vampirate 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 3:56

ok, it's not like this site is really for literally life-******* events. they are supposed to kinda make you cringe but leave you chuckling. would you really enjoy a website that was like "Today, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I have 6 months to live. FML." because I think that would be SO RAD, dude.

kewlcat 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 6:33

yeah honestly, im so sick of the people saying "OmG thiS iznt a rEal Fml!!1!!!!1" real fmls are sad, really. i dont even like the ones about their gfs or bfs cheating on them or something.. because its sad! Little ones like this are cute & light to read. Unlike the one about lymphoma...that one was sad.