Intimacy: Superfuzz Big Muff

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

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Same thing different taste

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 733

You deserved it 7 998

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 816

You deserved it 8 736

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 745

You deserved it 4 436

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 266

You deserved it 7 762

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 5 013

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 719

You deserved it 25 755

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 809

You deserved it 4 626

Turn me on

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 976

You deserved it 22 231

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 658

You deserved it 12 195

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 343

You deserved it 4 877

DocBastard 38

Sunday 5 December 2010 19:56

You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.

TNB_xACiDiC 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 20:08

i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p

Comments

MJbigfan95 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 5:49

lol my boyfriend said the samething b4. it was so akward.

Rexkless213 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 20:51

hes lucky he even getting some hahaha so wat i love fiah its bomb hahah

emmykrab2010 0

Friday 31 December 2010 17:51

I dont see what this is bad! I think that's sexy

brentfahey 0

Friday 11 February 2011 8:01

when you go down on him say "Time to find the needle in the haystack."

ohmandapants 16

Friday 1 April 2011 2:28

OP, take out the stick that's shoved up your ass and lighten up. He was obviously joking.

Brennaa69 5

Monday 4 April 2011 20:58

Lmao.

whitecloud197 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 21:22

Maybe u need to take better care of your hygeine down there ?

ScreamingSkullz9 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 11:55

He could haave said "Mmh just like mom used to make"

ScreamingSkullz9 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 12:31

He could haave said "Mmh just like mom used to make"

GothicAngel95 16

Sunday 13 November 2011 4:39

Congrats your boyfriend is creative and has a since of humor

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 480

You deserved it 3 043

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 268

The Top

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 556

You deserved it 2 617

Today, it's been two days since I went out to a club with my sister. I love dancing and was really getting really into it. However, my neck muscles are still sore. From dancing for two hours. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 242

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend’s best friend was telling me why my girlfriend cheated on me because my ex wouldn’t give me a straight answer. She said, “He’s just really hot and is good in bed” and that in fact they both are hooking up with this guy. I feel so much better I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 71

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 384

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 837

You deserved it 32 261

Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 231