Animals, Kids, Poopoo peepee and Gross: Spray it - FML

Spray it

By GoldenShower - 25/06/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 962

You deserved it 8 091

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Same thing different taste

By pist - 13/05/2018 01:30

Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 716

You deserved it 289

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 8 324

Taking the piss

By kafreen - 30/08/2016 19:35 - United States - Tucson

Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 1 265

By jcesom - 01/08/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 921

You deserved it 6 106

Poor little dude

By One mad mother - 06/04/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 111

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 415

You deserved it 2 878

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 4 581

By Anonymous - 06/01/2014 19:13 - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 550

You deserved it 5 053

Thanks babe...

By okaykk - 05/09/2018 13:00

Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 521

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 20:01 - United States - Danbury

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 618

You deserved it 5 109

Next

Top comments

Zuriel45 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 20:39

good news is the deer won't be taking any bites out of you.

coldplaylive2003 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 20:44

Whose pee was is?

Comments

A_LiST3RR 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 5:56

damn kiddss!

dman5 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 0:32

it's ur fault for leaving the bottle in reach of ur children

dannyparrish1211 3

Thursday 9 December 2010 19:14

shos urine is in the bottle

lacrossegirl775 0

Friday 5 August 2011 5:27

You actually pee in that bottle..?

music87 14

Thursday 25 August 2011 22:33

Looks like its time to find elsewhere to keep the black bottle of pee.

fuzzybear14 0

Friday 27 January 2012 0:02

to water the plants?

alkaid 14

Friday 22 June 2012 13:05

Oh deer :/

jrock9093 18

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:19

Sorry that sucks good fml kids will be kids

bungholemcgee 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 22:21

you deserve it for spraying urine on those innocent plants

karacakal2 30

Monday 21 December 2015 13:38

I bet it pissed you off

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Keywords

Art Kids Health Birthday Covid Relatable Awkward Cars Love Transportation Gross Family Poopoo peepee Neighbours Intimacy Sex Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food

The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

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You deserved it 236

The Top

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 778

You deserved it 834

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 322

You deserved it 45 447

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 000

You deserved it 6 799

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 196

You deserved it 2 572

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long-arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 987

You deserved it 3 261

Today, I went to get a haircut. I have a pretty bad case of dandruff, so whenever I get one, a lot of it shows. My hairstylist called to her nearby friend twice, then looked at my hair and said, "Blech" under her breath. I got glares when I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 451