Love, Sex and Intimacy: So romantic

So romantic

By Upbrakie - 12/01/2010 13:09 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend, and I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much windshield wiper blades cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 3 371

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 944

You deserved it 14 580

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 240

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 106

You deserved it 7 118

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 407

You deserved it 10 011

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 057

You deserved it 5 171

By suckstobeme - 16/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 134

You deserved it 8 800

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 239

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 763

By anonymous - 24/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 894

You deserved it 3 723

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 7 105

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:52

Wiper blades range anywhere from $15-38 dollars.

Twunt 14

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:43

Or she loves you so much that you're at that part in your relationship where you talk about errands during sex.

Comments

Mortgaged 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:45

as long she ain't cost'n you noth'n, and she is half way decent looking just keep drop'n your load in/on her and dont get hung up on that crap.

cmac86 23

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:39

if she doesn't love you why are you two having sex?

drezman 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 3:43

lol

ChelseaGrin112 14

Tuesday 1 May 2012 5:18

38, a better year than nowadays.

13thstory 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 22:45

that's great! what is it with women and talking about random stuff during foreplay/sex? someone please explain. I don't think I'm that bad in bed!

iRunWitScissors 0

Friday 21 May 2010 2:54

omg, something like that happened to me but it was a phone convo. although ur situation is like 2 billion times worse, i feel ur pain man. fyl. :P

rachelOMG 0

Friday 24 December 2010 22:04

lol that's horrible sry about that

losmiserables 0

Friday 29 April 2011 1:15

I BELIEVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HINTING AT SOMETHING. LIKE COOKIES.

Superllama12 11

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:14

After all, windshield wipers are EXTREMELY important

TheComedyAudio 29

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:18

That sucks man :

sherry_berryxoxo 17

Monday 29 December 2014 21:26

Lmfaoooo. Damn. That one's a keeper :p

farttard 8

Sunday 6 March 2016 2:19

YDI for saying "I love you" during sex, so tacky.

Keywords

Awkward Motherhood Health Transportation Money Lonely Dentist Sadness Work Abuse Nepotism Relatable Ironic Parents Miscellaneous Birthday AITA Food Sex Intimacy Virginity Love Mental health OCD Cleaning Housework Cute Creepy Argument Kids

The Top

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 820

You deserved it 7 129

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 173

The Top

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 1 876

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 3 163

Today, I tried to have a serious talk with my sister about how she feeds her kids. The 5-year-old is 75 lbs and the 7-year-old is nearing 100. She scoffed and said, “What do you know? You can’t even have kids!” No, I can’t have kids, but I am in school to become a pediatrician. Pretty sure I’m right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 243

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 131

Today, after dating a guy for 2 months, things seemed to be going well. I offered to buy dinner and trusted he would keep in mind that I'm a college student on a budget. He picked the restaurant, ran up the bill over $100, made me pay, and dumped me right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 159

You deserved it 671