Porn, Wanker and Intimacy: Sneaky hand shandy - FML

Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Spicy

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 796

You deserved it 58 904

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Same thing different taste

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 573

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Spicy

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 43 141

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 700

You deserved it 68 919

Class dismissed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 1 147

Definitely done that

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 04:00

Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 1 164

Masterclass

By SadOral - 03/07/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 876

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 588

You deserved it 8 886

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 995

NSFW

By Pornstartled - 03/11/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Zutphen

Spicy

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 1 350

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 718

Next

Top comments

fmlplzthks 0

Monday 9 March 2009 7:35

if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...

ThorsSon 0

Monday 9 March 2009 22:38

#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.

Comments

thimovw 4

Tuesday 22 November 2011 9:37

Youshould divorce roght now

kitcatarat 2

Wednesday 4 January 2012 3:37

There's no need for **** if ur married if she is giving u wht u want

EdwinG19 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 4:42

Why Dont U Just Make A **** Movie With Her?

Nave42 7

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:44

How did you not realize they weren't plugged in properly?

soldiat_fml 17

Monday 22 July 2013 9:30

HER bedroom? Why is your wife coming out of HER bedroom?

tpm45 25

Monday 16 September 2013 12:45

I've done that before... Luckily no one heard me...

lolalola47l 8

Sunday 10 November 2013 2:02

are you guys gonna get a divorce? seperate rooms?

SonyIsGod 13

Saturday 30 November 2013 20:29

I know this has already been said, but you really sleep in a separate bedroom from your wife? What the hell?

doglover100 28

Saturday 8 March 2014 0:31

Why do you sleep in separate rooms?

themetalstickman 19

Sunday 25 May 2014 15:37

You, sir, are a ****.

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The Top

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You deserved it 1 122

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You deserved it 105

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You deserved it 1 423

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You deserved it 6 958

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I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 577

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You deserved it 1 510