Family, Annoying, Awkward and Racism: Shitgibbon

Shitgibbon

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 05:01

Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 105

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 14:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 254

You deserved it 2 806

Elaborate

By ehxtraordinarily pissed - 13/12/2014 18:36 - United States - Coweta

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 3 390

The clichés are real

By Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 10:00 - Canada

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 858

By unproud - 15/11/2013 07:05 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 116

You deserved it 7 030

By Foreigner - 01/08/2011 15:05 - Jersey

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 706

You deserved it 3 073

By meh - 18/01/2012 05:21 - Canada

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 144

You deserved it 3 037

But mah freedumbs!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 10:23 - Canada

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 049

You deserved it 5 262

By not a brain cell in sight - 16/06/2013 20:20 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 290

You deserved it 4 285

First and last date

By Xyanthe - 18/03/2023 00:00

Today, my date was making remarks about “stupid illegals” and “immigrants are everything wrong with this country” because our waiter barely spoke English and apparently got his order wrong. When I reminded him I’m an immigrant, he said, “But you speak English and you’re legal, so you don’t count.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 228

By socialdisease - 22/08/2011 15:58 - United States

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 5 106

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 28 September 2021 14:30

Just change the subject to hockey, Timmy's and maple syrup and say "Sorry" a lot. That'll fix him.

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 28 September 2021 14:10

Seems like a week argument, hell canada was founded by british immigrants like 3 generations ago.

Comments

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 28 September 2021 14:10

Seems like a week argument, hell canada was founded by british immigrants like 3 generations ago.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 28 September 2021 14:30

Just change the subject to hockey, Timmy's and maple syrup and say "Sorry" a lot. That'll fix him.

GoogieWithers 22

Tuesday 28 September 2021 20:18

Maybe you could import a new father in law?

And1 12

Tuesday 28 September 2021 22:57

Feed him to a moose. Then tell him that most Canadians were ‘imports’ at some point or other!

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The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 692

You deserved it 1 945

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 5 727

Today, my pill-popping mom, committing disability fraud and stealing from me, called the cops on me, and dragged the landlord into it, is now getting both of us evicted. All this because she'd rather live homeless with her drug problem than to get the help she needs, which I can't provide anymore after 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 104

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 463

You deserved it 7 021

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 220

Today, my homophobic mother is arranging to set me up with a wealthy 46 year-old man who has agreed to marry me. I’m 19, a lesbian, and I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past couple of years. My mother will stop at nothing. This is the fourth guy she's tried to set me up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 235