Transportation: Sage advice

Sage advice

By jcc - 24/02/2009 08:31 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 596

You deserved it 5 558

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 3 708

By a hex upon your anus, sir - 25/05/2013 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 329

You deserved it 3 258

By Groped - 02/04/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 787

You deserved it 5 262

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 14:23 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 571

You deserved it 7 620

You tried

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 726

You deserved it 3 960

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 611

You deserved it 3 697

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 216

You deserved it 79 267

By madamefuxalittle - 08/07/2014 20:52 - United States - Stratford

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 816

You deserved it 4 600

By LLCK - 10/12/2012 10:13 - United States - Owatonna

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 570

You deserved it 2 255

By Quackadoodledoo - 24/04/2014 02:21 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 182

You deserved it 5 402

N_aero 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:51

Even worse... as a guy it cuts of the flow of blood there... NOT GOOD... unless u have a particularly small package. In that case, carry on, nothing to see here.

Arbitrary 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:34

Why were you sitting like that in the first place...?

Comments

onluckiest 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:46

i thought it meant cl*t but thats just me. either way. wtf

Felonia 0

Monday 22 June 2009 8:34

Eh. That's what you get for riding on the subway. It's more fun being the crazy person, try that some time. :] helpful suggestion.

happygoluckyhh 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 21:17

A guy...sitting like that...gay.

c3ns0r3dn4m3 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 0:01

hahahhahah true !! ^^

jaybrown 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 5:28

How do you do it if you have balls?

Linkin5 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 13:53

wtf? "Today I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laugh and made sexual comments about him that we thought he couldn't understand, he asks me "First time in Moscow?" FML" Russian Federation. Serious, wtf, so ur a guy gay who wanted to nap on an old businessman? okay...

reem2013 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 15:48

The only logical reasons are the following: 1) Either you look like a girl, and have a tiny package. 2) She is .. Well .. Losing it. 3) Someone dared her to do that.

daniisme 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 4:40

emos are hot!!

My2864 1

Saturday 8 May 2010 4:53

ydi for sitting like a girl o_O

remieshine16 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 15:05

Number 1, that lady is f ed up. Number 2, get a haircut or lose some of ur man boobs or get some muscles or something. it is ur fault if u look like a girl.