Moving home, Gross and Insects: Queen

Queen

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 728

You deserved it 16 254

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 624

You deserved it 2 522

Gotta have it

By kp. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 984

You deserved it 59 136

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 110

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 4 984

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 02:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 868

You deserved it 4 164

By TheRoad42 - 20/08/2013 12:54 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 718

You deserved it 2 731

By Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 677

You deserved it 951

Exterminators are expensive

By vinyl_mermaid - 02/03/2017 14:00

Today, in an effort to rearrange my bedroom, I planned to reroute my internet cables under my house. Then I found out about the black widow infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 607

You deserved it 476

Home invasion

By Need_more_spiders - 08/08/2023 14:00

Today, after already living with two wasps' nests, as well as gnats that plague our flower pots, we've also discovered moths in our pantry, who've ruined all of the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 128

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 56 754

Saltime 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 19:15

She lays her eggs there because she can wirelessly transfer them to any part of the nest.

Vanbilsen 4

Saturday 10 September 2011 19:13

Clean up your mess son

Comments

hiLARIUS 11

Friday 11 January 2013 3:33

those are gonna be some messed up ants...

MadisonDerp 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:46

I take it you don't sweep very often

YOLO_SWAG_2013 3

Saturday 20 July 2013 14:32

One word: RAID

nickschlundt 3

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:34

burn the house

Calvatron 6

Thursday 27 February 2014 2:39

that sucks, now your internet is going to be all buggy):

DaRito 25

Sunday 24 May 2015 2:31

Burn the apartment.

CoNaana 18

Friday 10 July 2015 9:40

How can you not notice this before?

ThatOnePolarBear 13

Monday 29 August 2016 9:52

I now feel itchy after reading this.

Allie614032 34

Thursday 2 March 2017 22:42

Come on. It's an apartment, not a house. It's been two months. Clean up.

Pletchersgirl 15

Friday 7 July 2017 23:40

I once found a sugar ant nest in my router too! Horrible.

Keywords

Cars Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Poopoo peepee Work Kids Fire Capitalism Money Food Miscellaneous Clothes Thief AITA Health Intimacy Birthday Death Disability Abuse Love Sex Fish Camping Holidays Vegan Ableism Gamers Video games

The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 278

You deserved it 4 534

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 486

You deserved it 12 051

The Top

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 056

You deserved it 36 558

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 335

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 3 638

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 230

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 3 829

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 4 521