Embarrassing, Cute and Kids: Public announcement

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 737

You deserved it 8 407

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Same thing different taste

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 745

You deserved it 4 621

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 092

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 301

Duchamp would be proud

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 12:00

Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 167

By ... - 20/01/2019 02:00

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 216

You deserved it 758

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 90

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 142

You deserved it 7 250

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 238

You deserved it 3 432

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 594

You deserved it 436

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 450

You deserved it 3 551

MarioDragon 14

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:54

Just put toilet paper on the seat and take a shower when you get home

deviable 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:56

It's not like I don't understand why people don't want to use public toilets, but wouldn't it be easier to bring some toilet seat covers? Squatters often cause the most mess.

Comments

Justine94_x 31

Wednesday 5 October 2011 19:50

This is why I don't piss in public places..

fakefantasy 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:06

yeah and what if it was between that time period dumbass? plus I doubt they really do it that often anyway, even if they're supposed to.

loserthegreat 11

Wednesday 5 October 2011 19:59

thats so sweet!! id be pissing my self laughing too if my niece said that to me :D

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:03

I guess it's a good thing you were in the restroom then, with all the pissing going on.

Codi_A 1

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:04

That's adorable!

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:19

I'm a squatter myself:)

MIL0_fml 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:22

It wasn't much of an fml... I do that all the time an I bet all the other women in the washroom do it too... The op is over exaggerating. The little girl was adorable though :)

inac0ma 1

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:23

Squatters are disgusting and you deserve the embarrassment. How many times have I had to clean pee off the seat after someone else went, just because they were afraid of a few harmless germs. Put toilet paper down on it if you are soooo worried. Don't make it a urine party for the rest of us!

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:35

I squat but I don't get pee on the seat. Those are inconsiderate squatters. And I wouldn't call the germs on toilet seats harmless

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:22

Oh boo-hoo #43, I had to clean of shit in a bathroom before (the COMPLETELY missed the toilet) at my job. Careful squatters manage to land it in and some even try to clean up for themselves (me). Plus you are an idiot, +30cm your safe, -30 cm. you can get various germs and viruses (like a stomach flu). dumbass...

alycion 38

Thursday 6 October 2011 2:11

Not all squatters leave a mess.

perdix 29

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:26

Why would the whole room be pissing their pants if that room is a bathroom? Wouldn't everyone be pissing in their toilets?

Zomg_Okay 26

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:34

Unless there's absolutely no time for it (example; your next class with a cranky teacher starts in 2 minutes) you just wipe the seat with bog roll, OP.