Alcohol, Cars, Computers and Transportation: Priorities

Priorities

By Earths_Venus - 19/11/2009 22:31 - Australia

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it - and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 798

You deserved it 35 708

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Same thing different taste

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 2 813

By Sad - 28/04/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 413

You deserved it 15 326

By 1000dollarspoor - 07/10/2009 09:25 - United States

Today, while working on my laptop, I accidentally spilled a glass of water. I quickly moved my laptop out of the way of the oncoming stream. It fell on the floor and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 10 075

By nice one - 14/07/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 787

You deserved it 2 743

Ninja move

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 070

You deserved it 39 635

By stop thief - 26/06/2014 15:11 - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 033

You deserved it 6 092

Delicious

By MYLIFESUX - 12/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, while eating a bag of Starbursts. The bag slid off the bed, so I went to catch it and in the process my knee hit my laptop, which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my laptop to save 11 Starbursts from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 199

You deserved it 56 941

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 431

You deserved it 46 300

By amayasoma - 12/08/2013 18:54 - United States - Houma

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 636

You deserved it 7 021

Transit

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 874

You deserved it 2 374

ItsAshxD 0

Friday 20 November 2009 1:43

Well, at least you saved the vodka, because now you can go drink away the pain.

k43L1 0

Friday 20 November 2009 1:42

laptop case. buy it. use it. love it.

Comments

seanreddog 4

Friday 20 November 2009 2:32

This sounds like my dads truck. Can't open the door without half his shit falling out.

asher4 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:33

seanreddog 4

Friday 20 November 2009 2:36

onehotdemon 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:40

You know you're an alcoholic when...

baby_gurl2405 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:42

wow thats some crap luck ur having.... try eating lucky charms lmfao

starlightwater 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:44

I guess that's what the vodka's for then...

stain33319 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:47

WHAT??? Drunko the clown DRIVING!!!

xhalighx 0

Friday 20 November 2009 2:57

How is this a FML??? You saved what was most important! Kudos.

spfraider46 0

Friday 20 November 2009 3:01

hahahaha vodkas all that matters.. but ive actually seen this fml on another site hah http://tomuchattention.com/?id=6h5bozv7s14ndmkhn6erk2jue5ixg0

JournalKeeper 0

Friday 20 November 2009 3:37

damn. that's a cheap ass laptop then

proud_liberal 0

Friday 20 November 2009 3:48

vodka? wow you are an alcoholic. get help before u kill someone!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 568

The Top

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 36 935

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 560

You deserved it 3 749

Today, I thought it would be a nice idea to take some flowers and candy to a friend whose cat had just passed away. As I was leaving, I ran over her other cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 343

You deserved it 1 879

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 660

You deserved it 89 183

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I checked his phone. The reason I did so was to get his mum’s number so I could arrange to send her his Xmas present in a parcel, as a surprise as I wouldn't be with him. He found out when he asked me how I managed it, and I told him honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 319

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 645

You deserved it 48 663