Poor performance dude

By crybaby - 01/02/2012 08:19 - United States

Spicy
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 007
You deserved it 4 219
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Top comments

iAmScrubs 19

Let's see what the judges have to say. I know Paula liked it. She's drunk so she likes everything.

328 16
thrAsHeRr9081 16

You should give him another chance. Who knows? Maybe he'll crawl into the fetal position next time.

148 5

Comments

201019tony89 0

Who knows u might of been the tightest he had or he might of still been a virgen and lied to ya ha ha

3 10
flockz 19

i think the moderators will moderate that and then your comment will cease to exist.

1 1
mk58 31

I only realized it was a word when I looked it up. I thought OP was aiming for butt-naked at first.

10 0
flockz 19

i learn something new everyday.

9 0
OnlyAvailableID 28

Hey, looking buff naked is what got the lad laid in the first place.

6 0
hellogoodbye1996 6

44- you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet..just because it's there doesn't make it true.

5 13
DrJesse 10

63-It is an actual term.It's just not used by many people anymore.

3 0
ausgirl88 1

Is anyone else from Australia amazed this word is not common elsewhere, or just me?

2 0
flockz 19

but what if you're skinny and twig shaped and you're naked? would you still be "buff" naked?

9 0
brunomars09 3

OMG X'D ! #51 I berly paid attention to your picture. it's hilarious. lololol LMAO! Good One *Italian accent*

1 7
Tmoney20 3

Hahahahahahhaha yeah that's what got my attention! Lol

0 0
mimoni 5

It took longer than I expected for someone to say that in the comments

0 0
MeLuvBewbs 7

He's just not your guy to ****. I'm pretty sure there's better performing ones.

3 4
CoreyC07 10

Sounds like he just permanently **** blocked himself

16 2
Snake867 1

Give the guy a break. It happens more often then people will admit. I'm 30 and have many sexual encounters with many women and can definitely hold my own. But, when I had sex for the first time with my now fiancé I only lasted about 2 min. Mainly because I was turned on by how hot she is and how good it felt that I lost concentration. Now that we have it regularly we go for a good 30-45 min. It happens all the time, and when it does you feel like a pathetic failure and completely ashamed and embarrassed. Certainly doesn't mean you need serious help, just more experience. Now of he only lasted 2 seconds and walked off like everything was normal....then you should worry.

30 0
alstbv12 13

You mean lasting less than a minute is wrong?! And all this time I just thought I was winning...

9 0
CoreyC07 10

True, sometimes you just can't contain yourself...but the appropriate thing to do would be to laugh it off and fool around for a few minutes until you're ready to go again...not pout in the corner like a 6 year old...

14 0
BRONCOMAN79 0

I agree on not being able to last long the first time. But crying in a corner fterwards??? Seriously? Sounds like he has self esteem isues

3 0
j4ym4n 2

A few points to consider. 1. Your tight and your box feels awesome. 2. It's been ages since he's been laid or he is very inexperienced or he was just really excited to shag you. 3. If he wasn't such a pussy fire it up 10 minutes later. Some oral play on you in the mean time is a good idea so long as he's tarped up. Or he may like that if he's a little queer. 4. If you are decent come to Australia and I'll show you how a real man pleases a woman :-p Bom chicka wow wow!

0 1
perdix 29

Tell the little panty waste he can take a mulligan. But just like in golf, he can only do this on the first "hole." Any further lapses will be punished with penalty strokes. Before he gets too excited, let him know that he must administer the punishment to himself.

15 2
DrMime 10

Also, if he misses next time, that'll be his second birdie!

2 2
perdix 29

If he duffs it on the second hole, he'll probably be hunting for his balls out in the deep rough;)

3 0
Snake867 1

Does this rule apply to the other 2 holes as well.....meaning he would also get a mulligan there?

0 0
perdix 29

He only gets a mulligan on the first hole attempted for which a score will be recorded. If there is a problem on a warm-up hole, he might consider another pasttime, like solitaire.

4 0
tj4234 35

not good at English or sex. You're not going to get far in life OP.

4 10
TheBrianWing 0

You know, really surprised no one said anything about that until now.

0 3