Love, Relatable and Awkward: Playa

Playa

By Loner - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Paramus

Today, my buddy congratulated me on getting a girl's phone number written on my arm. I was too embarrassed to tell him it was the number I needed to find my furniture at IKEA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 372

You deserved it 615

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Top comments

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 20 September 2017 2:42

There's nothing like a hot date with a sexy sofa.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 September 2017 1:45

Maybe you ought to give Gürkelsnørf a call — you and her can get some Swedish meatballs and lingonberry soda.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 September 2017 1:45

Maybe you ought to give Gürkelsnørf a call — you and her can get some Swedish meatballs and lingonberry soda.

really_dad? 14

Wednesday 20 September 2017 1:48

They have some pretty sexy Ikea workers these days

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 20 September 2017 2:27

At least it wasn’t the number of your local Wendy’s’; that could’ve added another layer of confusion.

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 20 September 2017 2:42

There's nothing like a hot date with a sexy sofa.

Rebekah95 23

Wednesday 20 September 2017 9:37

#ikealife

ARISKomuniszt 24

Wednesday 20 September 2017 20:20

Well you sit on dates too...

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Cute Kids Birthday Money Weird Awkward Love Health Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 264

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 969

You deserved it 16 285

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 86

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 080

You deserved it 24 891

Today, my mom received a condolence card from my high school's alumni association for my recent passing. I'm still alive! FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 157

You deserved it 702

Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 235

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 777

You deserved it 1 729