Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 11:30

Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 605
You deserved it 349

Same thing different taste

Top comments

As someone who grew up with above genius level intelligence let me tell you that there is more to life than how smart you are. Being smart is fantastic and it's a wonderful skill but human life is about relationships. Your job as a parent is to teach your children how to be a good adult. That means teaching them how to foster good relationships. He could be right in a million ways but if he alienates everyone around him he's going to have a harder time long-term. School is easy because people are forced to be around you. Once you get into the real world people get to choose who they're going to be around. You don't need to break your child's spirit or to force them to respect you. You should teach them mutual respect. I suggest giving your child more responsibility and also expecting more out of him in return. There really shouldn't be competition between you and your child. This is a partnership that should last a lifetime if you build a relationship. Lastly hard work is better than being smart. Hard work determines how much actually gets done and sometimes with smart people not much gets done.

TomeDr 24

Time to reach him to be respectful. Otherwise he’ll become an annoying know-it-all.

Comments

TomeDr 24

Time to reach him to be respectful. Otherwise he’ll become an annoying know-it-all.

There was a FML about a kit whose cousins hit him for being a rude little snot. If this child doesn't learn that respect from the parents he'll learn it at the hands of his peers....or at the fists.

How do we know he practises this level of disrespect on other people besides his parents? We have no knowledge on how old the kid is nor whether or not he's socialising with any other kids. In any case, respect for the parent is fine, but if the parent has the reasoning skills of an idiot, it is well within the rights of that child to question and argue their point. Respect is earned, not given. If the parent wants respect they are going to have to justify their worth as a parent and many parents fall short. I love my mum, but as I grew older, I began to realise that she was neglectful and a bully. I don't disrespect her in any way, however, if she tries with the bulls**t, I'm gonna argue. Same with anyone else, for that matter.

Being respectful says more about you than about the people you're being respectful towards.

stop replying to his questions. he's getting his jollies out of out smarting and getting a rise out of you. stop playing into his game.

Like my mother told my kindergarten teacher after 2 weeks of daily calls and meetings. You are the adult. You have authority and you need to assert that or the child will walk all over you. There are times where your longer outlook are better than a child's logic. As one who likes his kids to see reason and develop those same logic/reasoning abilities even Iknow there are times for the age old, "because I said so." You do not owe an explanation for every decision you make for their wellbeing.

You need some serious help. Maybe your son can help you but only if you let him.

As someone who grew up with above genius level intelligence let me tell you that there is more to life than how smart you are. Being smart is fantastic and it's a wonderful skill but human life is about relationships. Your job as a parent is to teach your children how to be a good adult. That means teaching them how to foster good relationships. He could be right in a million ways but if he alienates everyone around him he's going to have a harder time long-term. School is easy because people are forced to be around you. Once you get into the real world people get to choose who they're going to be around. You don't need to break your child's spirit or to force them to respect you. You should teach them mutual respect. I suggest giving your child more responsibility and also expecting more out of him in return. There really shouldn't be competition between you and your child. This is a partnership that should last a lifetime if you build a relationship. Lastly hard work is better than being smart. Hard work determines how much actually gets done and sometimes with smart people not much gets done.

If it's not obvious maintaining relationships is a lesson that I'm still learning even later in life.

"Because I said so" trumps all logic! First rule of being a parent.

My experience was saying because I said so is this. When you have kids you might ask them to do something like hand me that shirt. Often the kids will ask why and so you tell them so I can fold in put it away. And then you might ask them to hand me that pair of pants and they ask why. And then you ask them to put their plates in the sink and they say why. And then you ask them to put their shoes away and they say why. Eventually you realize that they're not asking why because they want to learn how the world works. Sometimes that's the case. But often they're just trying to get out of doing simple tasks or they just want some attention or they're bored and they just want to give someone a hard time. After a while you get sick of putting in the time and energy to give decent explanations for everything you're doing. A lot of times it's just straightforward stuff also. For example it'll be time to go to school in the morning so you say okay kids go get in the car and they'll say why. Well, they know exactly why. Not all kids do this all the time but it is an extremely common phenomenon. If you don't have kids or if your kids are very young you might not understand and you might think the parents are just being unreasonable. But just remember that a 2-year-old will scream until they're purple in the face because you won't let them play with forks and knives. Teenagers are not always much more reasonable than a 2 year old and so it's hard for parents to make a transition from saying "because I told you to" to reasonable explanations. Again for people who don't have kids or don't have teenagers this might not make sense. If you have worked with teenagers in diverse settings you know that sometimes they are reasonable and sometimes they're extremely unreasonable.

Giving an explanation for why something needs to happen is not unreasonable but having everything that you do questioned and challenged when you're trying to run a household and a family and pay the bills just so they can get out of chores is unreasonable.

My kids are really good and I try really hard to not say this but when you're asked why 50 to 100 times a day everyday you get tired especially when they don't listen to your whole answer.