Farts and Health: Oh no…

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 421

You deserved it 4 492

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 3 624

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 284

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 035

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 958

You deserved it 11 813

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 4 980

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 3 136

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 596

You deserved it 8 487

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 190

sallycinnamon 21

Friday 4 December 2015 10:47

Shoulda done a sinister grin in the reflection just to top it off

ihartmytdi 23

Friday 4 December 2015 10:37

Just don't be surprised when he fires back.

Comments

PulpFact 8

Friday 4 December 2015 14:18

Just unofficially drop it, don't turn up

HunterI64 5

Friday 4 December 2015 14:27

You must not have a good relationship with your roommate lol

Alexandria79 22

Friday 4 December 2015 14:27

my hubby speaks proudly of the time that he cleared out all of his roomies with a silent stream of gas. laugh it off :)

OrganicSistah 17

Friday 4 December 2015 14:37

That's an FML for your roommate.

writergirl1029 17

Friday 4 December 2015 16:26

You guys live together. Farting will be commonplace eventually.

yenze 18

Friday 4 December 2015 17:27

I dont see how farting in front of roommate your is an fml

worldclassrager 39

Friday 4 December 2015 18:08

That was a good one...

btpakash 9

Friday 4 December 2015 18:28

its not I big deak...ever one frat...so it comman 2 ntce...

Ichiya 29

Saturday 5 December 2015 5:54

Umm...

moonjerky 9

Friday 4 December 2015 20:49

Hide the body

BRobbins1 14

Friday 4 December 2015 21:26

you always check to make sure your back blast area is clear

MonstreBelle 28

Saturday 5 December 2015 11:45

Fire in the hole!

Keywords

Animals Cats Cute Awkward Family Intimacy Sex Alcohol Coworkers Work Health Psychology Mental health AITA Relationship advice Weird Love Cops Miscellaneous Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents Birthday Dogs Cake Cars Embarrassing Transportation Fire

The Top

Today, I lost my job due to anonymous customer complaints. Turns out it was my toxic mother-in-law. She made those complaints because she thinks if I’m unemployed, it will be easier to convince my husband to divorce me. Luckily he knows she’s toxic and is on my side, but I’m still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 90

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 660

The Top

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 067

You deserved it 557

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 455

You deserved it 9 384

Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 740

You deserved it 58 850

Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 127

Today, my coworkers were trying to teach me how to play a card game. There was one rule that I just couldn’t wrap my head around, even with three of my coworkers explaining it in different ways. It just didn’t make any sense whatsoever to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 230

Today, my 79-year-old mom who has Alzheimer's fondly remembered all the wild sex she had with me back in the 1960s. I wasn't born then. She thinks I'm my dad, who died 15 years ago. In all of our conversations now, she talks to me as if she is talking to her husband and some of the talks turn racy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 83