Sex, Boredom and Intimacy: Not into it

Not into it

By JD. - 08/10/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 575

You deserved it 4 083

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Same thing different taste

By spaceforrent - 16/11/2012 05:51 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 374

You deserved it 3 011

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 495

By fuuu. - 19/03/2012 12:39 - Hong Kong

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 248

You deserved it 2 571

By NotSoAnon - 13/08/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 355

You deserved it 5 053

By Llaurin - 24/01/2011 14:43 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 10 795

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 8 359

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 800

You deserved it 17 638

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 233

You deserved it 6 544

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 240

By Sickasadog - 06/02/2017 16:00 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 745

You deserved it 680

febag 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:52

cum on the ceiling, it is gonna turn white

Foster_33 4

Friday 4 June 2010 15:32

#15 you took that one too far

Comments

lahp 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:07

ewwwwwwww.... thoumy ex colour my old boxers white ;) it happens ;) give her 100 quid if she can reach the ceiling :P

bfrench95 0

Friday 16 July 2010 8:01

she's mutitasking,bitch

griffmo24 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:16

multitask win

eleni_fml 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:07

hahaha fail :)

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:12

Wow, painting the ceiling is more exciting than you, FYL!

Foster_33 4

Friday 4 June 2010 15:31

#3 your dumb she's gunna paint the ceiling with cum. not acually paint the ceiling white.

boydeee01 7

Wednesday 21 March 2012 3:27

Before you call someone dumb, at least spell right.

Rota 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:16

Lol, "making love", she obviously has you in her pocket.

jillz 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:42

seems like you knew she wasn't really in the mood but your penis was just too important to you lol YDI

febag 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 16:52

cum on the ceiling, it is gonna turn white

H00K_M 8

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:45

Old joke from at least 15 years ago. Wasn't funny then, either.

MCKCWHITETIGER 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 9:36

u must be a very boring person..

benisajosher 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:56

This isn't an FML.

LmaoLolRofl 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 19:18

u suck

Immune2ice 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 20:15

I don't understand why this is a FML.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Jewelry Awkward Kids Family Fight Love Work Relatable Students Birds Sleep Animals Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Pregnancy Cheating Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 147

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 377

The Top

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 38

Today, it should have been my day off from work because I did a lot of night shifts. At 6 a.m., my boss called told me that my day off was canceled, because a coworker is ill. Now I'm sitting here on a night shift with a pinched nerve in my shoulder and a lot of pain, just because I stretched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 76

Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 483

You deserved it 6 265

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 501

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 3 681

Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 849

You deserved it 5 196

Not into it

Same thing different taste

Bored

Vibe check

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