Intimacy: No kinkshaming here

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 087

You deserved it 5 776

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Same thing different taste

By Eve - 24/06/2011 10:45 - Ireland

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 089

You deserved it 10 723

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 897

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 5 725

By DallasGal - 14/02/2012 16:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 813

You deserved it 3 870

Wrong, just wrong

By Anonymous - 02/07/2017 10:00 - China - Chengdu

Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 711

You deserved it 7 284

What a wanker

By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 20:01

Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 265

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 392

You deserved it 4 831

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 8 636

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 5 182

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 121

You deserved it 10 610

Thizzkidsgotgame 7

Sunday 30 September 2012 12:18

Sweet.

toelie 26

Sunday 30 September 2012 12:28

There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.

Comments

angeluscado 15

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:30

Some fantasies are sometimes best left private...

gottalovecondoms 0

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:57

I'm glad he shared this one actually.

truckdriver321 3

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:43

Why does he have to play with himself instead of doing you? Give him more sex!

Ilikeike 4

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:50

Awww :3 How sweet.

HeyArnold91 8

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:53

Some where in the world Mrs. Butterworth is blushing.

gottalovecondoms 0

Sunday 30 September 2012 15:56

Atleast he's not masturbating to just syrup and your in the picture op.

holyshitbatman 20

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:08

must be Canadian

Steve95401 49

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:13

Getting a boner about Mrs. Butterworth is really twisted.

fljp 18

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:14

Well, at least his fantasy is about you. I can't say that sadly.

cloak057_fml 8

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:17

Never heard that one before.. Really unique.. And i might try it lol

PhishloverA 14

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:21

Nothing wrong with that. He's just imagining licking it off of your naked body

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If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 3

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 479

You deserved it 3 043

The Top

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 522

You deserved it 49 958

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 203

Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 155

Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 233

You deserved it 985

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 656

You deserved it 13 693

Today, while at work as a cashier, one lady's total was $1.32. She handed me the dollar, and then apologized. When I looked at her, confused as to what she was sorry about, she went wrist deep into her bra, grabbed some change, and quickly put it into my hand. It was wet and it smelt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 323

You deserved it 2 251