Animals, Birthday and Scary: No bother

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 241

You deserved it 1 084

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Same thing different taste

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 4 101

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 535

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 8 882

Alas, poor Donald

By Hit and Run - 13/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 96

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 531

You deserved it 19 897

By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 334

You deserved it 1 751

By shithead - 18/09/2011 20:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 783

You deserved it 51 156

By Quackers - 11/04/2012 15:39 - United States - Denver

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 505

You deserved it 37 314

ezrocks4u 29

Tuesday 15 November 2016 11:51

Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.

chirstinap325 23

Tuesday 15 November 2016 11:09

You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.

Comments

species4872 19

Tuesday 15 November 2016 17:34

The one on the grassy knoll spotted for them.

Catdragon 40

Tuesday 15 November 2016 18:40

I just did this in my park. They left me alone and I left them alone

manofmerr 27

Wednesday 16 November 2016 8:24

Maybe thats because they're careful around cat/dragon chimeras. You can not only stare at them with the kind of contempt that only a cat can muster, but you can also char broil them if they try to mess with you.

ginya 10

Wednesday 16 November 2016 3:38

More story please?

tbo13 7

Wednesday 16 November 2016 5:09

I goose you should have moved.

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 16 November 2016 6:12

Water fowl tend to be rather nasty tempered, be they ducks, geese, swans, etc.

GhostFox 33

Friday 18 November 2016 6:37

I had to rewrite this comment three time to avoid punning. Just for the record.

aggoden_bed 9

Wednesday 16 November 2016 9:30

Looks like you geesed wrong

tigeresscrazy 12

Wednesday 16 November 2016 11:39

Not all geese an ducks are ass holes I got very close to a mother duck with baby's so I could take pictures all the mom did was walk away I've also gotten close to Canada geese again to take pictures an never got attached though from the sound of the other comments I think I just got lucky