Sex, Awkward, Religion, Neighbours and Intimacy: Nice place!

Nice place!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 021

You deserved it 3 408

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Same thing different taste

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 153

By Ceej - 28/10/2012 04:06 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 898

You deserved it 7 059

Get it on, bang a gong

By can’t sleep - 17/06/2020 17:04

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 356

NSFW, NSFL

By 12MONTHLEASE - 22/04/2016 00:30 - United States

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 1 762

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 291

You deserved it 5 906

By 44magnumtime - 06/08/2012 17:57 - Canada - Oakville

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 630

You deserved it 1 742

Hi there!

By curtain buyer - 09/03/2015 01:05 - United States - Albany

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 019

You deserved it 3 693

By Username - 03/08/2011 14:33 - United States

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 686

You deserved it 37 567

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 390

YELP!

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 128

DaBlankoMan 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 1:57

New home in a nice neighborhood? $300,000 The old couple next door? priceless

missvee98324 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 1:56

old people ftw

Comments

seanreddog 4

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:29

what #22 said.

HaxivX 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:31

well...you know how old people are...umm I mean gilf.  I'M HAXIVX AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!!!!

GoldBMXbikeR 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:31

I thot old people cudnt hear things? i guess it's wat they wana hear XD

ToNstAAr 8

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:36

Lol that's just gross....

blamereptar 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:56

lol are you telling me you woulnt want to hear that? :p

Ultimate_Cynic 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:39

Having raunchy, disgusting sex and then fervently praying for forgiveness...? They sound catholic.

rachelleg 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:48

gross that would be like hearing ur parents doing it lol but bice to see the passion is still there even if they are old

smiley_ily 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:54

lmfaoo, haha, greeeat. party every nigght! :p

Ethwasia 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 2:58

DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS!!! PLEASE FORGIVE FOR EMBARKING ON THIS SEXUAL ADVENTURE THAT WE ENJOYED SO VERY MUCH!!! AMEN!!!

Eyeliner_fml 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 3:01

well, I guess your never too old to get busy?

Taipan_fml 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 3:16

I say F both you all's lives - yours for having to hear them and theirs for thinking they have to pray for forgiveness.

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The Top

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 250

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 099

You deserved it 20 812

The Top

Today, I'm stuck in quarantine and my friends are planning stuff like swimming without me in our group chat, instead of doing it in another chat group. It's like I don't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 377

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 455

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 883

You deserved it 2 838

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 995

You deserved it 2 919

Today, I was waiting to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, only to find out after about two hours they had moved out without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 143

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 125