Intimacy, Health, Sex and New year's day: Late results - FML

Late results

By ohbutno - 08/02/2022 18:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 539

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 009

You deserved it 19 897

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 775

You deserved it 7 267

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 322

You deserved it 5 286

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 651

Smelly Finger Nights

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Carmichael

Spicy

Today, I learned that not only do I have bacterial vaginosis, but I ALSO have gonorrhea from a hookup. The only symptoms I'm having? Anal itching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 1 136

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 937

You deserved it 18 658

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 2 019

Ménage à nope

By 3somer - 20/08/2017 04:29

Spicy

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 031

You deserved it 5 075

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 196

You deserved it 4 521

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 1 965

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 8 February 2022 23:09

I don't think you got gonorrhea that way. Anything else happen that night?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Keywords

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The Top

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 521

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 377

The Top

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 497

You deserved it 2 838

Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 360

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 678

You deserved it 840

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 92

Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 532

You deserved it 1 066

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 266

You deserved it 7 287