Health: My home hates me

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 4 315

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 261

You deserved it 2 498

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 513

You deserved it 15 614

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 561

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 6 937

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 206

You deserved it 9 708

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 110

By Loser - 17/03/2010 04:41 - Canada

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 749

You deserved it 26 003

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 006

You deserved it 9 304

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 128

cat4651 15

Friday 24 July 2015 16:09

Go back to bed for the rest of the day, it is clearly not your day today!

JMichael 25

Friday 24 July 2015 16:10

You're just not having a very good day are you? You have my sympathy

Comments

tiredofwaiting 25

Friday 24 July 2015 19:20

Today is not your day. Go back to bed and try again.

WhatHappenedToIt 22

Friday 24 July 2015 19:24

This is one of those days where you should just go back to bed haha.

LegionRapier61 8

Friday 24 July 2015 19:37

so there is this really useful stuff called Bubblewrap. You might want to look into it.

MisterGasMoney 16

Friday 24 July 2015 19:57

Just....Just go lay down for a while, OP.

ba13ydolls 10

Friday 24 July 2015 20:08

When Household Appliances Attack

DedeleMan 21

Friday 24 July 2015 20:08

clumsy much?

WhatsMyLineAgain 8

Friday 24 July 2015 20:10

Maybe watch where you're going and be extra careful... It sucksbut it's your fault....

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 24 July 2015 20:11

There are some days when the universe just says "**** you". This was one of those days.

CosmicElk 26

Friday 24 July 2015 20:13

Its just not your day OP!

rogerover 19

Friday 24 July 2015 20:48

You should get into a safer line of work, like........PRO WRESTLING.

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 222

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 352

The Top

Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 587

You deserved it 1 576

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 951

You deserved it 18 036

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 90

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 458

You deserved it 28 225

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 890

You deserved it 5 568

Today, I went to a new doctor. She asked me how long I had been sexually active. I said I'm not. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 363