Intimacy: Mood ruiner

Mood ruiner

By Skittles - 13/08/2017 20:00

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 836

You deserved it 1 297

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Same thing different taste

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 203

You deserved it 19 441

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 324

By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 4 235

Thin brown line

By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 882

You deserved it 8 237

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 1 574

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 427

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 223

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 628

You deserved it 6 600

Saucy

By ouchhhh - 20/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. 5 seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 544

You deserved it 618

mitolit 12

Sunday 13 August 2017 20:46

So what? Your husband made a joke, how is that a female?

OnlyNeko 13

Sunday 13 August 2017 21:08

Most definitely NOT a 'BAAD' thing in my opinion if'n you CAN'T 'Laugh' during Sex they are NOT the right person for you!

Comments

mitolit 12

Sunday 13 August 2017 20:46

So what? Your husband made a joke, how is that a female?

Chasity Gates 8

Monday 14 August 2017 0:25

Wasn't so much an fml but it was funny and I wanted to share with people lol.

Death69 24

Sunday 13 August 2017 21:06

Well...You kinda are. It was a funny joke. Roll with IT. FML? I think NOT.

OnlyNeko 13

Sunday 13 August 2017 21:08

Most definitely NOT a 'BAAD' thing in my opinion if'n you CAN'T 'Laugh' during Sex they are NOT the right person for you!

Cynical_1 26

Sunday 13 August 2017 21:16

I think the point of the FML is that he stopped just to laugh about something rather silly. The OP probably feels...and rightly so...that he really must not have been that into it. I'm sure most people would find that somewhat upsetting. Especially if they were really into it themselves.

Sherri Lynn Shauck 1

Sunday 13 August 2017 21:35

It sounds to me that he was enjoying himself more because he would rather taste the rainbow then f*ck the rainbow. I think there was a misunderstanding.

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 13 August 2017 22:38

I am strongly reminded of a fake (Meaning it was not an official one) commercial for Skittles in which a newlywed couple do the deed and the groom shoots out Skittles.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 14 August 2017 2:52

He said he wanted to give you the Whopper, but your Snickers made him bring in the Three Musketeers to break your Kit Kat.

Seeya55 31

Monday 14 August 2017 3:01

Oh, you sweet summer child.

Lemou_fml 25

Monday 14 August 2017 17:52

Your life sucks, because you couldn't get over yourself.

jfsiv 17

Monday 14 August 2017 20:36

My Ex never could laugh or have fun while having sex. Everything had to be fully romantic, or it was just mechanical. **** that, sex should be fun at times. Notice that she's now my Ex.