Work, Gross, Relatable and Awkward: Monday motivation

Monday motivation

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 870

You deserved it 2 325

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Same thing different taste

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 679

By Mary - 30/07/2017 05:00

Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 677

You deserved it 587

Foam my life

By Jennie - 05/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 467

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 072

You deserved it 2 671

By unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 623

You deserved it 39 147

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 112

You deserved it 5 305

By westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 324

You deserved it 3 607

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 10 129

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 952

You deserved it 8 654

By megean c.l. - 20/01/2013 21:36 - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 837

You deserved it 8 019

Revan501 15

Sunday 10 February 2013 2:57

That guy is an asshole.

txgirl2013 14

Sunday 10 February 2013 2:57

Unplug it, move it next to his desk and do the same thing and see how he likes it.

Comments

Fmylab 8

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:31

OP: Most other posters think you should confront him, tell the boss, or put him on YouTube. All those approaches could get you in trouble without teaching him anything. Since he's obviously a dumb animal, train him like one. Just before one of his usual coffee breaks, rub the inside of the coffee maker with a ghost chili or similarly hot pepper. Wear gloves unless you want to suffer also. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.

Satoaoi 13

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:50

or just kick him in the balls and make him spit that shit on himself. bet he won't do it anymore

JRLovecraft 6

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:09

Aw **** that's nasty. Maybe ask them to move the coffee pot?

awaydoggy 8

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:38

if i were u i would turn around and throw up on him every single time

JanisEvans 10

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:45

You might rather ask yourself why the management considers your work so irrelevant, they'd put the coffee machine next to it. In combination with that weirdo co-worker it seems like they're trying to get you to quit.