Work: Lying and scheming

Lying and scheming

By samantha711 - 10/11/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 7 861

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 19:45 - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 420

You deserved it 5 387

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 621

You deserved it 3 135

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Eastbourne

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 683

You deserved it 1 925

By twistedelegance - 19/07/2019 04:00

Today, I failed my driving test, and didn't get my great new job that a buddy helped me get. He got fired, and they won't hire me because he recommended me, regardless of how qualified for the job and how great the interview went. He called to tell me an hour before my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 157

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 590

You deserved it 302

Due diligence

By jobless - 09/07/2014 05:02 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nitwit candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 630

You deserved it 3 838

And then it hit me

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 01:00 - Russia - Moscow

Today, there's a company I want to get a job at, and I've worked for a long time to get in. However, I realized that in the test task I'd been doing for almost a month, there was a small mistake in my calculations that makes all my results false. And, of course, I'd already sent this task to HR two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 139

By panther of the desert - 02/05/2012 21:58 - Puerto Rico - Rio Grande

Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 2 203

Waste of time

By wasteoftime - 07/06/2017 20:00

Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 298

You deserved it 295

Logic

By Anonymous - 20/07/2021 20:01

Today, I received a call telling me I had not gotten a job I would have been a perfect fit for. The hiring manager told me they "went in the opposite direction" and chose to hire someone with less experience, so they didn't have to pay them as much. She made sure to tell me I was still the better candidate though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 65

Flutist 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:41

Have you ever looked at child ****? Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god! Have you ever sexually harassed your employer Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes. I don't think we are looking for someone like you. Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.

HeatherFTW 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:43

Do you get along well with others? ... No. Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes. Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't? Do you take any illegal drugs? .... **** yeah, why, you lookin to buy? Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.

Comments

protooler31 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 14:45

uh, yeah. OP, you have to make yourself sound like the best person possible on those types of things, and most of the time, that means lying your ass off.

kernelkat 16

Tuesday 10 November 2009 14:54

I heard the key to those tests is being consistent in ure answers. So u can be honest, just don't contradict yourself.

soiree_fml 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 15:14

what an idiot, how in the world are you gonna answer that you're okay with people stealing and shit? come on now.

velvet42 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 15:48

Yeah, I've always thought those tests are pretty much designed to weed out the people who are too stupid to know the "right" answers.

RatIsKing 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 16:12

YDI if you were applying for a position as a politician I guess that's what our country has come to, where only liars can get jobs

ProtoBuster_1 5

Tuesday 10 November 2009 16:31

This has happened to me twice during trying to find a job. The first was a 200-question psychological profile, from which the company said I didn't score high enough (wtf?). The second was when I was completing an application for CVS, to which they said I scored in the "yellow-green" range (again, WTF?!) OP, just keep your head up and keep on trying. You'll be able to find a job where you DON'T have to lie to work.

gregumsdagreggy 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 16:52

this happened to me to work at fricken outback steakhouse. the questions were like "Do your friends come to you for advice?" "do you enjoy parties?" blah blah blah. all about what i do in my free time - which has NOTHING to do with my work ethic! i was told that they can tell when you try to cater your responses to what you think they want, so i didnt. im not a bad person, i'd be great in a customer service job, but i failed the test. lame.

Sygonus 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:03

Their claim that they'll know if you tailor your answers is dubious at best, and more likely than not a bluff trying to trick people into answering honestly. After all, how can they know for certain if a person is tailoring their answers or is legitimately a great fit for the position? With that said, it's important to be consistent on these assessments. Most of the them DO have questions designed to gauge if you're lying by asking the same question twice, only worded differently (and if you respond "strongly agree" to one but "disagree" to the other, you'll be disqualified as a liar).

WTFsGoingOn 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:21

The problem is that when someone sounds perfect they just assume that they lied, because as we all know no one is actually perfect now days. I asked a friend's mother who does hiring for her company, she told me that if someone scores to well they assume that they lied and fail them.

Flounder 2

Tuesday 10 November 2009 17:02

When I was in high school I was applying for Best Buy and I filled out their TWENTY PAGE PERSONALITY PROFILER as honestly as I could. When I told my mom this months later, my mom told me I was dumb and insisted I re-apply, but this time she would fill out the profiler for me since she was afraid I would answer honestly and she knew what answers they "wanted". I ended up getting the job and consistently winning their little competitions for best salesperson. Long story short, those profilers are a waste of time and total bullshit. We had a HUGE problem with employee theft at my store, so obviously the profiler didn't prevent that. What it did do was eliminate the dumb thieves, so only the ones who were smart enough that they knew how to lie at laest would get the job.

matthepope 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 17:12

Same thing happened to me when i applyed to the RCMP. I got top marks and amazing on the fitness test, but when i was suposed to be honest I said that my friends did drugs, I have not, but they have. They rejected me because they didnt want pictures of me around drugs. A couple months later one of my druggy friends got into the RCMP. He lied about drugs. Now everyone is calling me stupid because I was honest about my friends doing drugs... GG me.

perdix 29

Tuesday 10 November 2009 17:59

How do you know that your friend is not lying about lying on the psych test? Maybe she told the truth and got the job over you because THEY found much more disturbing psychopathic tendencies in you, but THEY are afraid of you. Then, THEY told your friend that the liars get hired, but the truth-tellers don't, just to avoid making your homicidal brain snap. Hmmmm?