Sex, Weird, Frustration and Intimacy: Like a dream

Like a dream

By love and tolerape, apparently - 01/03/2015 19:24 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after a 7-year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 156

You deserved it 8 399

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 961

You deserved it 6 004

By L - 16/10/2012 22:59 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 625

You deserved it 6 906

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 4 261

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 9 045

Bronies for life

By bestiality, not even once - 14/06/2013 22:29 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 472

You deserved it 6 711

By Ryan - 11/06/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 287

You deserved it 7 464

Freudian

By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 110

You deserved it 4 650

By bestiality? do I look like a pig? - 26/05/2013 20:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 222

You deserved it 18 338

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 324

You deserved it 4 024

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 22:08 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 905

You deserved it 17 786

SkyGuy32 17

Monday 2 March 2015 0:03

Maybe you're just subconsciously a brony.

ZeroDying 11

Monday 2 March 2015 0:05

I had the same dream but with Elmo ...

Comments

najdof 10

Monday 2 March 2015 1:14

Atleast it wasnt teletubbies

Vinyl_Scratch_ 22

Monday 2 March 2015 1:44

That is awesome. What character was it

crack229 19

Saturday 5 March 2016 19:42

no that's gay kys

SkyeGray 9

Monday 2 March 2015 1:54

WhoDatNO 8

Monday 2 March 2015 1:57

ITself....he ****** a horse

dannnngthatsux 19

Monday 2 March 2015 4:51

um. Neigh. a horse screwed him.

drayloon 50

Monday 2 March 2015 2:01

You may want to get tested to make sure you didn't contract the Clop

somedude601 10

Monday 2 March 2015 2:12

Sounds hot.

Starham1 14

Monday 2 March 2015 2:18

Holy shit. You too?

potato_meat 12

Monday 2 March 2015 2:44

why would you even be close to liking that show in the first place

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 6 March 2015 16:49

Obviously he doesn't if it's on FML. Derp.

TallMist 32

Friday 24 April 2015 1:05

Because opinions. Duh.

420west 4

Monday 2 March 2015 2:45

coulda been worse, coulda been a teletubby

Dick_diamond 22

Monday 2 March 2015 2:53

And this, people, is how My Little Pony **** started out

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 160

You deserved it 11 993

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 557

You deserved it 4 759

The Top

Today, it's my first day on dating apps in a long time. I have a prominent facial scar from a car accident that happened a long time ago. All the girls that contact me want to hear stories of dangerous behavior and jealous exes. I'm a small town high school math teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 87

Today, my husband is leaving me for another woman because, and I quote, “She can ride dick longer than two minutes and doesn’t have two chins looking down on me while doing it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 255

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 4 130

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 365

You deserved it 6 575

Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 318

You deserved it 548

Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 867

You deserved it 314

Like a dream

Same thing different taste

Bronies for life

Freudian

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