Love, Cars, Cats and Cheating: Karma

Karma

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 00:01 - United States

Today, my side chick decided to call my wife and inform her about the affair I was having, all because I slammed on the brakes in the car to avoid hitting a cat and made her spill her frozen yoghurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 4 266

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Same thing different taste

How could you?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 07:00 - Estonia

Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 139

Hearsay

By froyo - 26/02/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 397

You deserved it 4 408

The cost of friendship

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 12:00

Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 1 441

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 278

You deserved it 3 108

NEVER JOKE ABOUT FLUFFY

By Sheepiebeepie - 11/08/2017 04:30

Today, at the end of a 15 hour shift, my girlfriend and her friends played a "prank" on me by texting me from a random number saying my cat got hit by a car. I immediately burst into tears and lost it in front of my colleagues. My cat is fine. My relationship is the real joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 127

You deserved it 439

Down the drain

By Are you f*cking kidding me? - 14/12/2022 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend had a side chick for the last two years of our relationship. How? He started crying after she broke up with him to try and salvage her own marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 206

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 102

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 215

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 059

You deserved it 8 007

IHaveThePower 16

Wednesday 18 August 2021 6:14

So...maybe have enough respect for your wife, the vows you made, and your own word not to cheat in the first place?

Aiden89 23

Wednesday 18 August 2021 6:52

Karmas a bitch huh?

Comments

christian_slate 16

Wednesday 18 August 2021 23:05

Too bad YOU don't have nine lives: With this situation, you're going to need more than one.

diraven 15

Thursday 19 August 2021 4:52

Never brake for cats

OnReceivingEnd 17

Friday 20 August 2021 5:10

Oh, poor BABY, you got caught in lying to your wife and cheating on her. You Deserved It, I hope your wife goes for your balls.

Sonotsuave 35

Friday 20 August 2021 5:55

Bro how do you EVER think anyone’s gonna take your side? Give me a break. YDI for not being faithful, POS. Go cry about it elsewhere

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 272

You deserved it 14 939

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I lost my phone during a hike up Mount Washington. Luckily, it was reported to the office, and they called my wife. Too bad we had already been driving for at least four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 284

Today, the minister at my grandpa's funeral had a speech impediment that made him stutter his R’s. My grandpa’s name was Robert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 79

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 438

You deserved it 2 400

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 5 981

Today, I discovered that head lice shampoo can remove the dye from your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 425

Same thing different taste

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