Inappropriate, Cars and Intimacy: Inappropriate - FML

Inappropriate

By aninnocentonlooker - 04/12/2011 05:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 495

You deserved it 3 903

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 417

You deserved it 6 081

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 024

You deserved it 9 617

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 409

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 572

You deserved it 3 857

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 458

You deserved it 9 130

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 4 609

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 365

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 988

You deserved it 23 997

TMI

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 3 027

Next

Top comments

aFreedom127 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:49

Nothing beats a good BJ.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:59

Did you keep both hands on the wheel?

Comments

hewro_failure 11

Saturday 17 March 2012 9:11

Just curious was this new friend a guy or girl? Ha cause if he is gay and you didn't know this until seeing what was going on in the back then that would make this FML even funnier

xlasernoobsx 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:44

Road Dome.

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 10 June 2012 21:29

Did you join in? Nothing like a drunken sexy time in the car!

LizzyNitty 6

Monday 9 May 2016 3:04

as long as they were wearing seat belts and weren't making a mess it's fine..

399 41

Thursday 12 May 2016 16:18

lol

KrazyKatz333 15

Sunday 4 September 2016 14:03

Good for your mate. What kind of a friend are you? Be happy for him and keep your eyes on the road

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 505

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 967

You deserved it 3 122

The Top

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 792

You deserved it 4 977

Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 277

Today, I got a new cat. He's outrageously clingy. Like, "extremely unhealthy obsession with me" clingy. I just wanted an emotional support animal, but it looks like I have become an emotional support animal instead. I feel terrible for trying to get him to not want to be with me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 429

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 920

You deserved it 7 099

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 251

You deserved it 4 937

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 205

You deserved it 14 776