I want Jesus to come inside my heart

By Weirdo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 933
You deserved it 40 853
Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

DocBastard 38

I would tell you to kneel and pray, but I'm afraid you'd get confused while you're down there.

556 19

Comments

MorganBrown 8

That's how Jesus gets all the ladies!(;

4 1
greeneggsandspam 2

My boyfriend looks so much like Jesus, it's creepy awesome.

1 3
emilyloves1D 5

So you certainly are a bible basher then

1 2
Meesersuperman1 4

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

2 1
Twisted_Angel 17

I'm pretty sure they frown on that in church... you didn't like... go up and fondle the statue did you? because that takes awkward to a whole other level.

0 0
MsBedelia 4

That's normal. Raised Catholic, Jesus was the first (mostly) naked man I saw. Now I can't date skinny guys without comparing them.

3 0
evilvagina 9

Jesus got nailed, Jesus nails you... simple.

3 0