Miscellaneous: I did nooooooooot!

I did nooooooooot!

By Just wanted a cigarette - 31/07/2015 02:06 - United States - Lagrangeville

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 4 852

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By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 227

You deserved it 306

By shewantsmedead - 26/01/2017 18:00

Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 064

You deserved it 569

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 579

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 2 680

By yupthissucks - 13/04/2015 09:00 - United States - Newnan

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 151

You deserved it 2 782

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 56 271

By dream_girl_3 - 08/03/2010 09:37 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 52 305

By legotron - 30/10/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 877

You deserved it 2 557

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 829

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 30/05/2011 08:28 - Australia

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 227

You deserved it 11 886

wheresmymary 22

Friday 31 July 2015 17:28

Maybe you should have your wife explain her side of the story to them

AddictGamer 16

Friday 31 July 2015 17:34

To all these people saying to 'just stop smoking' it's harder than it sounds. As to OP, I hope you'll get your justice as of your story you are not in the wrong.

Comments

Lars14 4

Friday 31 July 2015 19:18

I can't blame her for not wanting you to smoke don't know about jumping on the hood though

worldclassrager 39

Friday 31 July 2015 19:18

What does she do with vapour cigarettes?

FutureSurgeon 16

Friday 31 July 2015 19:23

Wow, with friends like that, who needs enemies? I feel for you OP, hope it got straightened out.

thatonetribute 31

Friday 31 July 2015 19:26

This isn't OP's fault because he smokes. It's his wife's fault for being an idiot.

writerchic85 25

Friday 31 July 2015 19:28

So your wife is concerned about your health but not her own.

plan_Z 14

Friday 31 July 2015 19:40

To all the people saying "just quit" that's all well & good but. His wife would have married him knowing that he smoked so what she did was a dangerous & dick move. Also if op can afford to smoke then they can smoke if they want to. Otherwise your life must be bland never doing anything unhealthy.

BitterSavage 20

Saturday 1 August 2015 10:10

But my question is, how do we know he didn't start smoking after their marriage? I had a now ex boyfriend of 3 year who picked up smoking. He even knew it was the one thing I can't stand. How do we know OP's situation isn't similar to mine? I'm not saying the wife is right, though. If jumping on the hood of a moving vehicle was on purpose, then that's taking it a little far.

apink823 6

Friday 31 July 2015 19:55

Stop smoking then!

semitoundboss 4

Friday 31 July 2015 20:23

Wait. Why didn't OP's wife back the story up to the neighbor and the police? Oh no...

vikky538 28

Friday 31 July 2015 20:26

There are other ways to stop you from smoking.

bapbap_fml 15

Friday 31 July 2015 21:49

I get that she doesn't like smoking, I don't either. But I wouldn't jump on a car like that, I'd just not kiss my husband after he'd be smoking and encourage him to try smoking cessation methods.