Miscellaneous: Hurry!

Hurry!

By A.. - 04/06/2011 19:48 - Canada

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 934

You deserved it 3 320

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 079

You deserved it 221

By failedexam - 06/11/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 767

You deserved it 6 153

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 6 596

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 65

By Dx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 34 880

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 313

You deserved it 2 631

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 9 076

Our house, was a very very very nice house

By Anonymous - 06/03/2020 18:00

Today, my house caught on fire. After it was put out, I realized the damage wasn't bad, mainly smoke damage. I went to my parents' for the night because my house smelled. While there, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Apparently, my house caught fire again. It's now a pile of ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 265

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 20:58 - United States - Evanston

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 095

You deserved it 2 389

By GasFromThePast - 24/11/2018 16:40 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I smelled gas when entering my apartment. I checked everything and then left to seek help. I was told to call 911, which resulted in two firetrucks and 10+ firefighters, one of which was my high school sweetheart, entering my messy apartment and finding nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 884

You deserved it 651

JacksonCampbell 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:58

Buy a cow.

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:01

Unless your mother is infirm, I'd say the emergency is that she's a lazy and entitled old bat.

Comments

bnvc 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:56

wow.

abbi96x 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:09

But that IS an emergency? What if she was eating Oreos? You can't have Oreos without a glass of milk?

pman590 8

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:21

Maybe the kitties were trying to steal the milk, well then. Jog on kitties..

mtlooney225 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 2:29

get her orange juice and candy cigarettes! haha

YacL 15

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:02

Milk and cigarettes feels like a weird combination to me.

opendoorclosed 8

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:26

They're actually pretty delicious blended together.

FlipInBrosky 4

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:42

The real "emergency" is figuring out a lie to tell to your boss/co-workers what had happen

PurpleRae420 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:56

Haha sounds like my mom

WishResign 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 4:00

-_- this is from the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous... and I'm guessing OP works at a funeral home, applying makeup to dead people while tap dancing.

tsim_fml 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 4:50

Can't OP's Mother get the milk from her breasts?

ohrlynao 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:14

Thank you, #1, for this delightful, insightful comment.

JacksonCampbell 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:58

Buy a cow.

Mitcha857 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:03

that also buys cigarettes for her

urdirtyolduncle 15

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:13

This is why I treasure and admire my calf.

aardvarkish 15

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:34

15 is the udder definition of à propo!

stephanie911_fml 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 4:46

The calf doesn't give you milk, you have to keep a female pregnant. & milk it 3 times a day.

Elenachka 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 5:01

#44- is there a pun intended? if not, that's utterly the most hilarious typo ever

urdirtyolduncle 15

Sunday 5 June 2011 5:25

Way to successfully kill the joke, Stephanie.

JacksonCampbell 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 5:56

64 - You're right. that was udderly hilarious.

EmoGiana 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:59

Damn, she sounds cool.

angelpies 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:26

EmoGiana I have yet to see one of your comments rated positive.

mk58 31

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:59

The milk is crucial to life. I'm not sure about the cigarettes though.

Lehk 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 3:47

milk isn't crucial at all, it's actually a pretty lousy food, difficult to digest (impossible for some) it has a lot of fat in it, and when handled improperly it can carry some horrible diseases. there are much better sources of calcium out there too, milk is not needed at all, unless you are a suckling infant, or a baby cow.