Money, Transportation, Accident and Thief: Help yourself

Help yourself

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Westwood

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 2 140

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Same thing different taste

Good samaritan

By happyshit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 615

You deserved it 6 546

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 909

You deserved it 2 499

There's no justice

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 864

You deserved it 2 615

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 889

You deserved it 291

STOP! THIEF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Stamford

Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 490

You deserved it 366

Just browsing

By OneGirlsLife - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 033

You deserved it 287

Effed up

By sunny_funny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 1 193

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 390

You deserved it 2 848

By skygoddess - 28/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 544

You deserved it 3 339

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 239

You deserved it 1 253

randomkayx3 11

Friday 20 April 2012 7:29

Why is it always the person being good that's ******?

amayranii 2

Friday 20 April 2012 7:28

So much for trying to help

Comments

person961 9

Friday 20 April 2012 7:46

Shows you some people only care about themselves... What has happened to this world :(

TheCheyenneMorga 3

Friday 20 April 2012 7:46

Nice guys finish last.

Wolvander88 19

Friday 20 April 2012 9:33

i guess that's a good thing, seems we last longer. ;P

_dont_fml_ 1

Friday 20 April 2012 7:51

wth is wrong with these trolls that think people deserve bad things when they try to do good...

perdix 29

Friday 20 April 2012 7:59

When you send the victim your bill, youll be stealing much more;)

carik6 0

Friday 20 April 2012 8:12

Its horrible that you can't just be a good person anymore. There are some pretty shady people out there.

FMLemur 4

Friday 20 April 2012 8:25

No one helped out OP. OP helped someone, learn to use punctuation.

TheAngryKitten 0

Friday 20 April 2012 8:30

Sneak increased to 56 Pickpocket increased to 73

Trisha_aus 15

Friday 20 April 2012 8:43

Well you can always rely on karma! It'll get him, good on you for helping!

jerseyboy732 16

Friday 20 April 2012 9:02

I understood what she ment. but since we're on the topic, where you put the comma after "someone" it should be a period. learn to use punctuation

fuckmebutdontfml 16

Friday 20 April 2012 9:03

well you did help, even if thats not what how you meant to...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 39 411

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 236

The Top

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 314

You deserved it 98 400

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 812

You deserved it 4 668

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 565

You deserved it 12 372

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 117

Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 524

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 109

You deserved it 34 270

Same thing different taste

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