Parenting, Dad jokes and Work: Great joke Dad, thanks - FML

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 883

You deserved it 7 906

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Same thing different taste

Secret life

By Anonymous - 06/08/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 193

Thanks mom

By unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 478

You deserved it 26 317

By CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Spicy

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 179

You deserved it 3 048

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 830

You deserved it 35 965

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 650

You deserved it 4 659

Not on the weekend

By jtaylor94 - 21/07/2009 21:54 - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 343

You deserved it 42 709

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 249

You deserved it 29 563

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 580

You deserved it 47 168

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 23 246

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Hudsonville

Spicy

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 068

You deserved it 1 793

Next

Top comments

Mercyfulsin 7

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

I'd suggest putting the phone on silent next time you go for a job interview!

HotBox69 4

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

Haha, that's ******* hilarious

Comments

sharond23 10

Thursday 30 November 2017 19:28

why was your phone on during a job interview? and then you answered it? I woukd never hire you. ydi

randybryant799 20

Monday 27 September 2021 16:17

Why was your phone on? YDI

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The Top

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 803

You deserved it 624

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 600

The Top

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 164

You deserved it 2 669

Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 186

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex-boyfriend, who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 029

You deserved it 7 688

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 507

You deserved it 4 965

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 498

You deserved it 7 693

Today, I went to check why my eyelash lady never replied to my message from two days ago, asking about an appointment, only to see that I apparently accidentally sent her 15 picture messages of nudes I took for my fiancé. No wonder she didn’t reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 470