Intimacy, Sex and Miscellaneous: Good question

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 115

You deserved it 13 173

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 712

You deserved it 4 022

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 936

You deserved it 9 581

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 488

You deserved it 36 750

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 141

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 31 031

By ohmygod - 20/06/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 386

You deserved it 8 450

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 691

You deserved it 3 265

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 105

You deserved it 429

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 396

You deserved it 3 817

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 939

You deserved it 2 612

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

LMAO i just want to keep up the pattern of starting the comments with LMAO

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:09

LMAO! smart kid

Comments

tincan 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:24

It's sad how 9 years olds these days know so much... I was terrified a few months ago when I saw my 12 years old cousin reading BL (aka yaoi) on her computer. It's not that I don't read it, but I started when I was 187... she is only 12...

justjayit 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:03

Sounds accurate.

lifepwns 0

Friday 13 March 2009 18:36

lol the kid told the truth, you know it.

Bunbu 8

Sunday 15 March 2009 13:31

That is why you got it. Why lie about it? :3

ndizzle 0

Wednesday 5 May 2010 19:32

Because it's her grandma, *******.

Andrew_Riks 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:00

Ow! So I take it your cousin wanted to make sure your grandma's 95th birthday was her last.

cantwhistle 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 6:58

why did you do it anyways? it looks stupid...

Offspring_fml 27

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:56

I think it looks good on you. Sucks she had to experience her babysitter doing that. I'm bi too, and I have a very fundamental Christian step-father. Why did you drink before the finals though? It's a better idea to do that, after-wards. Getting drunk causes loss of brain-cells, but a beer a day is healthy for you, and can add years to your life. :]