Intimacy: Get it on

Get it on

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 470

You deserved it 3 244

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 153

Sprinkler

By shelly - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 558

You deserved it 7 420

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 702

You deserved it 2 757

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 4 877

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 053

You deserved it 4 716

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 3 918

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 426

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 535

illmatic2 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:24

I'd go piss outside or something.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:25

And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.

Comments

dabeast15 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:03

"mom? Da....... HOLY SHIT!"

My3sons 3

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:22

It's their house...Moms need love too!

robert76 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:23

Damn, an hour? Go Dad!

poindexter25 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:32

So pee out the window dude

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:22

OP is a female.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 16 November 2012 0:21

Still can happen... ^

KM96 24

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:54

OMG Now i cannot get the image from my head :0

jep00 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 20:55

Piss out the window

wdunh69733 24

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:27

An hour in the shower? Well your dad is a stud ... and strong

murphdarkly 13

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:47

Take a piss in the kitchen sink if you can't piss outside.

spottyblanket 8

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:47

pee outdoors

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 15 November 2012 21:58

You should've banged on the door yelling for them to get out so you could go pee.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 71

Today, I told my stepdad 3 times not to unload my new stove by himself, being worried about both the appliance and his bad back. When I came back to the car two minutes later, he'd taken the stove out and was wondering where that huge scratch on the side might have come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 90

The Top

Tsk tsk tsk...

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 714

Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no response I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 076

You deserved it 17 097

Today, I was walking in the woods with the girl I like when I saw a vine overhanging a small creek. Trying to make her laugh, I took off my shirt and started swinging on the vine like Tarzan. The vine snapped and I fell into the creek. Guess who's missing half the skin on his back? FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 2 309

Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 414

You deserved it 3 105

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 065

You deserved it 7 552

Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 758

You deserved it 260