Health, Insects and Scary: Freak out

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 527

You deserved it 3 966

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Same thing different taste

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 912

You deserved it 5 867

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 1 231

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 989

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 112

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 764

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 949

You deserved it 10 350

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 478

You deserved it 3 112

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 3 579

By soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 425

You deserved it 65 007

wowfmlife 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:00

Gooey+legs=....caterpillar? I don't really get what it was or why it was on your head after a shower, but that's sick

Volcan_fml 22

Monday 17 January 2011 4:39

But what the fxck was it!?

Comments

BeanieBaby 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:51

ewwwww. that sucks

maichido 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:51

Eugh, that's just gross! But not so bad.

Volcan_fml 22

Monday 17 January 2011 4:39

But what the fxck was it!?

gatorclay97 28

Monday 2 February 2015 14:10

Are you bipolar?

slipup2 2

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:51

omfg thats is just horrible. good protein tho :D

Mandy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:52

Oops! Apparently we accidentally swallow three spiders in a lifetime though, so try not to feel too bad. At least you didn't eat it.

alshclown 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 20:05

urban legend.

athena3100 9

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:11

ive heard 8 a year D:

kaylyngrace11496 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:52

Nooo.. It's like 10 spiders annually..

PrincessPesa 20

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:20

Spiders! The breakfast of champions.

shitidied 17

Friday 17 July 2015 6:11

84 and 86 are idiots. Google university doesn't count.

l0vegam3 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:55

Ahaha, eww. That sucksss,

saailaway 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:55

AHHHHFHIEHFO! omg that just makes me quiver

PureGold 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:57

#5...I heard it was 7 x( OP: EWWWW that's so gross. I'm sorry!!

bbodin33 7

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:24

I heard it was 3 per night

kittykat1501 31

Monday 29 June 2015 21:42

No it's 7 a lifetime

coopcas 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:58

Eeeeeew, what?! D:

uhmfml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:58

Im sorry but this will probably happen to you more than once in your life. Just something nasty that happened to you.

kristinleighhh 0

Monday 10 October 2011 1:25

Therefore, it is an FML.

IllegalLight 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:59

A spider perhaps? Yummy.

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Mother in law Miscellaneous AITA Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my mom strictly banned me from doing any of my chores, because I missed a spot while wiping the counters. She then screamed at me for not doing my chores. When I went to go do them, she screamed at me for doing my chores when I’m not allowed. I can’t win here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 91

Today, just like every day for the past two weeks, my mother has told me just how much she doesn't want me to move out. I, once again, have had to remind her that she isn't the one I'm trying to get away from. I'm not a fan of being repeatedly smacked with a coffee mug by my 78-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 864

You deserved it 186

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 518

You deserved it 32 049

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 923

You deserved it 1 918

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 190

You deserved it 2 749

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 720

You deserved it 1 801

Freak out

Same thing different taste

Shared towel

He was just chillin'

Disgusting

WHO ARE YOU?

Eau de toilette

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