Drugs and Health: Flying high

Flying high

By jkim - 08/09/2014 17:56 - United States - San Diego

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 798

You deserved it 3 950

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Same thing different taste

Stranded

By digressions - 29/12/2011 19:01 - Canada

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 526

You deserved it 3 936

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 01:54 - United States

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 078

You deserved it 3 465

Hammer-headed

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 16:27 - Canada - Saint John

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 251

You deserved it 4 937

Remember planking?

By say dump him and i'll kill you - 29/12/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Soham

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 4 103

Help!

By Agonised - 29/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 75

No pain, no meds

By I don’t stink - 01/05/2020 20:00

Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 263

Denial

By Anonymous - 12/12/2022 18:00

Today, out of sheer stubbornness, my husband forced himself to go to the toilet despite severe constipation. He forced it so hard he now has a migraine and his nose won’t stop bleeding, but he won’t go see a doctor. He could have burst an artery in his brain but no, he knows better than "some doctor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 154

Rhythm method

By booty backfire - 01/05/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 985

You deserved it 7 743

Panic

By Danger Dave - 21/12/2020 04:58

Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 548

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 173

ihaveasushicat 24

Monday 8 September 2014 23:43

Hide his keys...

BigLatchZatch 14

Monday 8 September 2014 23:48

In his pants - he'll never find them.

Comments

ladytigerhunts 20

Monday 8 September 2014 23:53

Knock him out with a TV! On a serious note, hide every car keys you can find and lock car doors, too!

orbit 22

Tuesday 9 September 2014 4:57

I would personally choose a hat rack over a tv, much classier

littleteapot 21

Tuesday 9 September 2014 5:02

Put sugar in the gas tank!

tournamentdecide 33

Wednesday 10 September 2014 4:29

Yes, lets mess up their vehicle when we can just hide the items to enter said automobile.

Khaleesi_26 30

Monday 8 September 2014 23:55

Drugs are bad mmmkay

whenitdidhappen 14

Tuesday 9 September 2014 4:10

the kids-mmlp

thebestofboth 20

Tuesday 9 September 2014 4:54

It's a South Park reference guys

GentlemanBastard 15

Tuesday 9 September 2014 4:59

#50 was referencing a song that referenced South Park. Refrenception.

jvfelicio 13

Tuesday 9 September 2014 6:11

Cool stories bros, keep it to yourself.

iluvFMLs15 19

Tuesday 9 September 2014 9:04

#69 - stupid comment bro, keep it to yourself....

sdroze1389 31

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:02

tell him casual Friday still has pants on the dress code

thebigtwinkie 28

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:06

Haha

SamanthaThe1st 22

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:06

My father was the same way. He knew everything and if you disagreed with him, you're a shark's dinner

jamal_hall 8

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:09

Hide his keys, or don't put gas in the car lol

tournamentdecide 33

Wednesday 10 September 2014 4:32

You do realize you don't empty your car of whatever gas was there when you get home then refill it before you leave, right?

orbit 22

Wednesday 29 October 2014 5:31

Maybe they live in a bad neighborhood

countryb_cth 38

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:13

Make sure to hid his keys. Or in his delusional state try and just convince him the car is in the bedroom lol

PoisonOrchid 21

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:14

Just distract him long enough for him to pass out. If he's not used to narcotics, it'll happen any minute now..

MossyMegaMan 20

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:34

Shit's strong. That's sad, but I'm not surprised. Percocet ain't nothin' to mess with.

GentlemanBastard 15

Tuesday 9 September 2014 3:55

You're thinking of Wu-Tang, I think. And it's "**** with"

FYlife604 18

Tuesday 9 September 2014 18:52

Lol same thing I was thinking wu-tang ain't nothin' to **** with

elsuperloco68 12

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:47

Let him. What's the big deal.

slyde32 12

Tuesday 9 September 2014 1:01

just that he's high on the medication, no biggie

rocker_chick23 27

Tuesday 9 September 2014 1:15

Because he is high as a kite and might kill someone if he drove.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 9 September 2014 2:57

Driving under the influence of strong drugs is never a good idea, pants or no pants.

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 3 115

Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 259

You deserved it 4 927

Today, I went to a Christmas party to visit family. Dinner time came around and I sat down at the table to eat. All of the food either had nuts or meat. I am allergic to nuts and I've been a vegetarian for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 392

You deserved it 2 332

Today, I bought a truck. It's a little beat up, but I got a pretty good deal because of it… Or so I thought. Turns out there's a Nickelback CD stuck in the player. And the radio is spotty. I can't help but think that had something to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 203

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 241

You deserved it 1 574

Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 245

Today, I was happy about finally having the time to pot up the $50 worth of reblooming iris's I bought. Until I went into the garage and couldn't find them. My husband cleaned up and threw them in the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 272

Same thing different taste

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