Gross, Cats and Animals: Fetch!

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 3 681

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Same thing different taste

By Bad Cat - 29/05/2019 14:00

Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 270

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 186

By shadokis - 12/09/2012 18:31 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 2 553

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 887

You deserved it 4 039

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 252

By lex31 - 14/02/2012 13:24 - United States

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 075

You deserved it 3 757

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 539

You deserved it 4 152

Where'd you go?

By omgjessp - 19/07/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 623

You deserved it 3 982

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 224

You deserved it 23 762

By Fmycatslife - 26/07/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 879

You deserved it 78 215

indielove 13

Friday 23 November 2012 15:58

Just how realistic are his toy mice that you didn't realize that it was a real mouse.

falloutboy97 16

Friday 23 November 2012 15:58

That wasn't very mice. :(

Comments

SnowWitney 17

Friday 23 November 2012 19:48

He aided in the murder of Remy. Better get out of town Op before Alfredo comes after you.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Friday 23 November 2012 20:06

Apparently the game of catch has real world applications for your furry friend.

patrickalamo 47

Friday 23 November 2012 20:13

Good kitty kitty

SoylentCandycorn 10

Friday 23 November 2012 20:45

My cats tore a mouse apart and scattered its entrails all over a downstairs hall. Guess who had to clean it up.

skullofdarkness 18

Saturday 24 November 2012 4:48

The cat! Duh! Who else?

littlemissjayy 8

Friday 23 November 2012 22:00

I don't know what to say except that you recover from this

JAMSM 6

Friday 23 November 2012 22:07

Half dead? As in dying, or as in shrodinger's mouse?

bcoop45 2

Friday 23 November 2012 23:01

Omg clean your house

ShyAnn29 14

Sunday 25 November 2012 12:16

Mice don't just live in dirty houses

junar 9

Saturday 24 November 2012 0:51

eewwwww! arrghhhhh! lol

johnny_derp 3

Saturday 24 November 2012 2:30

poor mouse. f his life.

yeti37 16

Saturday 24 November 2012 2:47

Lifelike and lifeless Last breath for entertainment Mini is widowed

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 84

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 199

You deserved it 7 092

The Top

Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 148

Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 137

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 458

You deserved it 4 806

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 142

Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 936

You deserved it 2 365

Today, I had a bacterial infection in my intestines. Doctors suggested I wash my intestines, but apparently forgot to tell me I couldn't eat before the procedure. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the whole room right now smells like rancid fried chicken, or the fact that the doctors were just talking about going to Popeyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 243

Fetch!

Same thing different taste

Poor Mickey

Where'd you go?

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