Alcohol, Gross and Health: Drink up

Drink up

By ugh!! - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 940

You deserved it 228 474

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Same thing different taste

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 699

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 1 270

Hangover

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 3 153

Gushing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 290

You deserved it 38 655

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 653

You deserved it 76 905

Wild night, huh?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 22:00

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 931

You deserved it 405

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 516

You deserved it 58 973

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 838

You deserved it 2 253

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 122

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 213

You deserved it 45 749

Ole_Stinker 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:48

Had you gotten out of bed you probably would have stomped on it anyway.

Dr_Phil 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:28

Wow, that was pretty stupid.

Comments

iheyman 0

Friday 5 June 2009 6:44

Your right #69 LOL 69

DancePro 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:35

..........IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when ppl get drunk!

talkandplay326 0

Monday 8 June 2009 22:34

pig. thats disgusting. >>

shakenbake93 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:02

People really need to learn where to barf.

testing_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 12:16

dude, you're as disgusting as it gets. That's why you deserve it.

iwraith88 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 12:39

Dumbass.

lizzie96 2

Friday 26 June 2009 23:00

Way to go and be stupid. Why would you even want to clean it up. That's worse than getting up to go to the bathroom. Honestly!

Paige_Nicole10 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:29

hahahahahhahahahahahahahh! this is so funny! it made my day. and made me feel better about some of my drunk/too drunk storys!

Bullshet 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 11:51

Moron.

railfan_fml 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:22

you left your laptop on the floor?

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Mental health Relatable Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Health Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 106

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 714

You deserved it 33 242

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 886

You deserved it 4 635

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 664

You deserved it 1 830

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 632

You deserved it 19 807

Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 85

Today, it's now a week since my mum and aunt shunned me for refusing to play the big brother and give my 17-year-old cousin some dating advice. I'm 31 and have never dated, been in a relationship, or been sexually active. I wouldn't know where to begin with advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 989

You deserved it 282